b3ta.com qotw
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Question of the Week » Accidental animal cruelty » Post 106509 | Search
This is a question Accidental animal cruelty

I once invented a brilliant game - I'd sit at the top of the stairs and throw cat biscuits to the bottom. My cat would eat them, then I'd shake the box, and he would run up the stairs for more biscuits. Then - of course - I'd throw a biscuit back down to the bottom. I kept this going for about half an hour, amused at my little game, and all was fine until the cat vomited. I felt absolutely dreadful.

Have you accidentally been cruel to an animal?
This question has been revived from way, way, way back on the b3ta messageboard when it was all fields round here.

(, Thu 6 Dec 2007, 11:13)
Pages: Latest, 21, 20, 19, 18, 17, ... 1

« Go Back

Not so much accidental, but anyway...
In my final year at uni, I shared a house with 5 other boozehounds. We were all doing engineering of some sort and as well as having a talent for calculus we could also sink alcohol like the bastard sons of George Best and Oliver Reed at a free bar.

This usually resulted in the house looking like it'd been turned upside down and given a good shake after a night out, but sometimes we were domesticated and did our best to look after place.

For instance, we had a massive slug problem. There'd be little white slug trails EVERYWHERE (I hope they were slug trails, some of the lads were dirtier than a new-born's nappy), they'd be found on the kitchen worktops or round the back of the telly... you name the place, we'd have seen a slug there.

One particularly drunken evening saw our revenge.

We'd all crashed back in from our various libations when Ian, the house beggar, noticed a multitude of the slimy bastards in the kitchen.

So he reached for the salt.

Now, as you can imagine we tried to save money in the house as much as we can - even if it was a few pennies. So the salt we had came from the chinese wholesalers in town. It was a MASSIVE bag.

So, picture the scene: One pissed student + massive bag of salt + numerous slugs = ???

Mayhem. Firstly, Ian didn't have co-ordination to carry the whole thing, and his control of the bag in trying to chemically alter the slug's biological make-up would have been less out had he suffered from Parkinson's.

Eventually though, Ian killed all the slugs in the kitchen. Bravo Ian.

Except, well, the kitchen looked like we'd just had a visit from Pablo Escobar and his Colombian marching powder dealing chums. There was salt in the sink, on the worktops, on the floor, in the microwave (don't know how), everywhere.

Did we clean it up? Did we buggery. It was time for our ceremonial post-piss-up viewing of Taxi and Gone In 60 Seconds, whilst waiting for the kebabs to arrive.

Ian did eventually clear it all up, but instead of using the brush to get rid of the majority before wiping down, he used the mop and bucket.

Which meant everything in the kitchen had a salty tinge for the rest of our stay in the house.

I always preferred my step-dad's solution to slugs, anyway:

1. Make a bat from a piece of two-by-four.
2. Find slug.
3. Lift slug on to bat carefully by wriggling the bat under the doomed little fella.
4. Flick slug into the air.
5. Slam bat into slug at high velocity.

Slug is then either:

a) Atomised on impact or
b) If he's a resilent chap, flung into the far reaches of the local housing estate.

Hurrah.
(, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 17:21, 5 replies)
the best way to deal with slugs
is to put a little bowl (or empty butter-spread box, whatever really) in thr ground and fill it with cheap lager.

the fuckers go mad for it! and once in, theyre far too drunk to get out.

that way, they go out happy and you can enjoy your salt with some nice chips.
(, Sat 8 Dec 2007, 20:41, closed)
That '50 ways to kill a slug' book
suggests blending the slugs to make a smoothie to give to your cats. WTF?!
(, Sun 9 Dec 2007, 17:03, closed)
Why slugs?

Seriously I had a slug infestation as well, why could I not have had fluffy a mouse infestation as they are less squidgy when stepped on during nocternal bog visits!

My Mum would collect a bucket load of slugs and then salt them all in one big pile surounding the now seething mass with a ring of salt in case any escaped. It looked like we had be doing black magic!
(, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 13:41, closed)
I like the sound of your dad!
I do a similar thing with snails and my boot.
(, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 15:43, closed)
Slugging
I like to fill my old super-soaker with very salty water and run around the gardenm spraying slugs, pretending I'm a Ghostbuster.

I'm 25.
(, Mon 10 Dec 2007, 16:21, closed)

« Go Back

Pages: Latest, 21, 20, 19, 18, 17, ... 1