Titan the Bull Mastiff.
He was called Titan, he was a Bull Mastiff, he weighed 20 stone and was built like an iron shithouse. He had a habit of running through doors (when closed) and wearing them like a dog ruff. He was as soppy as a puppy and as frisky as Rod Hull and loved playing with sticks (tree trunks). He ate like Desperate Dan and shit like a platoon of marines.

One day when we were playing he pinned me down, I really couldn't move and I'm 6'5" and 17 stone and got a look in his eye that I'd seen in a few ladies in my time, a predatory lust that's appealing in the right circumstances. Just as he was about to get it on, I screamed 'GET THE FUCK OFF ME YOU DIRTY CUNT!' in his face, slavering inches from my own. He stopped, looked guilty, and proceeded to lick my face like an icecream. Good doggy.
( Brandy_Bumwinkle, Thu 24 Apr 2008, 14:59, Reply)