There's a moos loose aboot the hoos
Another from the young, carefree and innocent days in Embra in the late 70s/early 80s.

As previously mentioned,we owned what can only be described as a BFO Tomcat. Black furry death to the local fluffy population. It got so bad that we had a chart of 'British Small Mammals' in the kitchen to ID his prey, and at one stage were playing Dead Fluffy Bingo ("A Mole! I win!). After the hare 'incident' this was upgraded to 'British Mammals'.

Soo, said feline death machine was lurking in the hall, growling slightly, and staring intently at the corner. After being tripped over a few times,we ignored him.

For some reason, something had to be fetched from the garden. Mini-osok is despatched. Grumbling, I drag my wellies out (growling increases in volume), and don the first. As I am balanced on one leg, about to stick the second boot on, I notice that he is also dribbling slightly and staring at me as if I was a pallet of Whiskas.

Second boot. What the... there is some sort of obstruction...some sort of furry obstruction....some sort of furry bitey obstruction with razor sharp teeth OWOWOWMUUUUM!

On the spot a new dance sensation was created as I spun like a dervish, attempting to kick the bitey welly off, while the furry bitey thing gnawed away and the cat sat there sniggering.

Finally, the welly sails off and bounces off the wall, dislodging the somewhat confused...FIELD MOUSE OF DOOM!

Silence. I look at the mouse. The mouse looks back. My semi-hysterical mother draws breath. The cat licks it's lips...and leaps.

A sort of human/mouse juggling act was born - GrabOWDropGrabOWDropGrab etc, while the cat was wrestled to the ground and placed in a restraint position, howling slightly.

In the end, we chased the mouse back into the welly and slung it into the garden. We did give it a head start before releasing the cat, however.

The cat, naturally, saunters off with a sneer. And brings back a frog.

I now check my wellies.

And steer clear of Field Mice. They might be small, but they'll 'ave you in a second.
(osok Rebel without a clue, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 9:58, 2 replies)

I once put
My boots on, without checking, and there was a toad in it.

*removed obstruction*

*put boot on*

*realises that there was more than one toad in there*
( Cawl, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 10:02, closed)

Of course there was more than one...
Wellies are generally 5 toad :|

/coat
( snee held his breath since, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 11:03, closed)