On how my cat would thicken the air
As a young Gunter my family owned numerous cats. He to which this tale relates was a very particular cat, perhaps the most unique of all felines to have stumbled about this planet.

Despite our house already being home to a brace of moggies, my brothers and I persuaded my mum that two cats were too few, and we duly hot-footed to the local rescue centre to acquire a new addition to the MunterHunter family.

Upon our arrival we chanced upon some new residents. This pair of brothers had already suffered the most horrific of lives, despite being only weeks old: they had been bundled into a sack along with the remainder of their litter, slung callously out the door and left for the dustbin men to transport them to the local landfill.

Fortune, however, smiled upon young Charlie and Gizmo (as they came to be known), when a kindly old refuse disposal officer, alerted to their plight by the unlikely movement and noise emanating from their makeshift grave, disposed of them at said rescue centre and gave them the chance of a long and happy life.

Gizmo had suffered horribly from his inglorious beginnings and was severely disabled, blind and about as sharp as a sphere. Charlie on the other hand was almost a perfect example of the feline hunter, likening them to meowing versions of Arnie & Danny DeVito in Twins.

As such, Gizmo was unable to attack like a conventional cat and his nature suggested he had no intention of harming anything; appearing as he did to be the single most loving creature ever to have lived. He did, however, unleash surprise attacks that could have been employed by riot police to bring a mob of the most vicious football thugs to a standstill... you see, not only was Gizmo disabled on the outside, but his spasticated guts would produce such air-thickening bouts of flatulence that even the strongest tear gas would be like fresh air in contrast.

He didn't live long, but his 5 or so years on the planet brought joy to many people, and he always seemed happy. Although, to this day I'm convinced that those beautiful blind eyes hid a conniving and deviant mind, which on occasion would remember the cruelty he suffered as a kitten and he would reek revenge whenever he could.

Length? Sometimes they would linger for hours...
( Moey, Fri 25 Apr 2008, 10:34, 1 reply)

A click for
"reek revenge".
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Fri 25 Apr 2008, 11:07, closed)