Living near a canal...
Means lots of bridges, and lots of swans. One day a few weeks back, me and my flatmate were walking to the local Morrisons, which means crossing the canal behind our Halls via one of the many medieval bridges in Leicester.

About half way across we hear this thunderous beating of wings as about a dozen of the beaky bastards dive bomb the bridge. Think the scene in Pearl Harbor* when all the Zeros fly in, skimming over the top of the cliff.

We dive for cover behing the wall of the bridge as the swans swarm overhead but, with a certain sense of satisfaction, noticed one of them clipping his, erm, undercarriage on the edge of the bridge and majestically spazzing out and crashing into the water.

Now I've heard of swans being able to break limbs so imagine having one of the feckers hitting you in the head.

*I wince with pain typing this without a U.
(Dok Zombie Cash, gash, pie and mash., Sat 26 Apr 2008, 18:36, Reply)