My best friend *long*
Ozzy is best described as a regular black feline by most, but to me she's affectionately known as stealth killer due to her ability to sneak up on people and scare the crap out of them. This is how my ex first thought of her upon meeting Ozzy, but now he knows better.

I'd just moved in with the ex and both cats were shut away in the spare room so they could get used to the new house one room at a time - obviously I'd go see them often and make sure they had food and water and give them cuddles and such. I left the room, but forgot to latch it properly as I got back into bed with the ex for some sexy time.

So we start kissing and playing with each others hair, my hand drifts down to his rapidly growing cock and pretty soon I shift the kissing from his lips downwards, paying special attention to his nipples, his belly button...moving ever downwards. Then just to tease him I ignore his pulsing cock and begin licking and kissing the insides of his thighs, all around his groin area, but still not touching his cock.

I take one of his balls in my mouth and gently suck, turning it over with my tongue coating it in saliva, I then pay special attention to his other ball, suckling it like a gentle piglet hungry for milk. He's almost screaming at this point, desperate for me to wonderful things to his angry red shaft, so I give it a quick but long lick all the way along the underside. He trembles and begs for more. I smile and give another furtive lick.

Whether or not Ozzy noticed him grab my head and force me down onto his cock and start plotting revenge upon the nasty naked man or if she just didn't like him, I'll never know as she's not saying. I end up giving him the blowjob of his life and he's lying there shuddering for some time afterwards with his eyes closed. I get up to go brush my teeth, when I hear him moaning from the bedroom. I wonder what's the deal, then figure maybe he's having a wank - he did that a lot with full vocal effects - so I stop in to see the cats again. Only I cant find Ozzy stealth killer. I look under the spare bed, in cupboards, even check the window ledge knowing that I haven't had the window open since last night.

I run back into the room to tell the ex that Ozzy's missing when I spot her. She's lying between his open legs inspecting his member with interest. She sees me, and I could swear I see her leer as she does the wiggly bum thing and then launches her attack.

The ex was never quite the same after he picked himself up from across the room, penis intact but only just.

And Ozzy, she bolted as soon as she realised her prey was attached to the big shouty man and went back to the spare room to wash herself.

I love that cat.

No apologies for length, about 6ft across a room stark bollock naked as far as I recall.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 11:49, 4 replies)

*click*
For the pulsing narrative.
( Cawl, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 11:57, closed)

*click*
For the tea-bagging.

Gotta love the tea-bagging.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 11:59, closed)

Jesus Christ!
I need to lie down...
(BuckshotLeFunk, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 15:52, closed)

aaack
stop that!
here i am happily trundling through the meadows of QOTW and i stumble upon another beautifully written piece of pr0n!

well done, i am now aroused. *huffs*
(Procrastinate now! It's not opposite day!, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 22:03, closed)