Seagulls. Bloody bastard shitty fucking seagulls.
As briefly mentioned in the "Phobias" QOTW a couple of weeks ago, I fucking hate seagulls.

Seeing as this is a rather apt QOTW, I shall elaborate.

Approximately 7 years ago, me and the wife were casually strolling along the main beach in Llandudno, pushing our little boy along in his pushchair (on the beach? yeah I know...) I'm assuming it was off-season because it was bloody cold and there was hardly anyone about. As we were walking along, we saw this little sad looking baby seagull just stood there on the sand, looking around and making little squeaking noises. No other birds in sight. As it sounded so sad and looked to be all on it's own, I decided to throw it a bit of bread from my sandwich.

MISTAKE.

Seemingly from out of nowhere, this massive cacophony of evidently jealous, evil-eyed shrieking scavenging bastard seagulls flew straight for us, flapping at my head as we ran away shouting.

*shudder*

Personally, I think the group of evil little beaky cunts had set up their little friend as a decoy to try and claw food out of sympathetic humans' hands. I bet they were all hiding behind a rock, ready to pounce on me.

Also, we were back in Llandudno earlier on this year, and one swooped by right next to me, causing me to make a strange "NGUUUURGH!" noise, leap backwards and nearly knock a small toddler flying.

Seagulls are are the chavs of the birds.

Pigeons are dirty little fuckers too, but they're more stupid than evil.
( Mike Fishcake teamfishcake.co.uk - better than your mum's face, Mon 28 Apr 2008, 15:08, Reply)