Attacking cows
OK, just to start off, cows didn't attack me. A friend and I attacked some cows, without really meaning to.

About 10 years ago, he and I were enjoying a mountain bike ride near the city, an out-and-back type one where you basically climbed for a good 30 minutes then turned round and enjoyed the downhill back to the bottom. As we descended, we encountered a load of cows, being herded down the track by a farmer on his quad bike.

We rode up to the farmer who said we could go through, slowly so as not to scare the cows. We managed to make our way through all but two of the cows - a mother and her calf, who wasn't tiny but still a fairly young cow. They wouldn't let us through - whenever we tried to pass them they'd start sprinting, swerving all over the place so there was no way past. There was a vertical bank to our left, then the road, then another vertical bank to our right - the road was cut into the side of the hill. We were fast running out of downhill, and with the impatience and selfishness of youth we decided "Bugger this - we've not climbed for half an hour only to follow bloody cows down the hill" we gunned it past the cow and her calf...who put the speed on again...and swerved again...right off the bank to the right. Baby cow followed Mum right off the bank as well. We stopped.

Moo..crash...tree breaking sound...moo...crash...thud...silence.

"Fuckin' hell."
"Let's get the hell out of here before that farmer finds us."
"Good call"

And away we went. Sorry cows - best not to run off cliffs next time eh?

Length - cliff was probably 40 metres.
(dhroadie, Tue 29 Apr 2008, 0:02, 1 reply)

Brilliant!
I'm now sat here laughing my arse off at the mental image of cows running off a cliff.
(Half of Stephen Fry's right buttock pissed on your dog on, Tue 29 Apr 2008, 12:54, closed)