Bit of an admission here
My parents are naturists. And therefore before little Smurf was old enough to stay at home on his own, he was an unwilling naturist as well, running around in the buff in a countryside naturist club.

This club has over 500 members (snigger) and with that many naked people running around surrounded by nature, animal related accidents were bound to happen.

Most of the stories have been related on here already; bee stings to the cock, mosquito bites on the foo foo, wasp stings on the nipple etc etc.

But by far the best happened to an old boy called Alf. Most of the naturists had little camping areas at the club. I'm not talking a two man tent, I'm talking semi-permanent giant tents with a little bbq area and a little front lawn.

Alf was mowing his little bit of lawn one early evening, in the nude of course, when he had a little accident. He wasn't wearing shoes. Bye bye big toe. Lots of screams, hopping around and falling over. People came running, trying to render first aid.

Then someone remembered that if you saved the toe in a bag of ice, it might be re-attached! Unfortunately someone else lurking the bushes had a different idea. As quick as a flash Holly, the local fox, had shot out of the bushes, grabbed the toe and was gone.

To this day Alf still does not have a toe and I believe that Holly is still alive and well and is regularly tossed the odd chicken bone from the bbq. She doesn't appear to have developed the taste of human flesh thankfully.
(Big Smurf Brush me daddy-O, Tue 29 Apr 2008, 19:31, 1 reply)

Natural or not...
there are times when you really should wear shoes.
( flirting with badgers What? It sounded good at the time., Wed 30 Apr 2008, 0:48, closed)