Squirrel Nutkin
I think I was about 10, when one day my dad noticed a bit of a blockage up by our chimney cowl. So, out from the garage comes his large tickling stick, and sets about poking the offending muck out of the way.
"Quick!" he shouts to my mum in the kitchen. "Get the washing off the line, it's just started to tip it down!".
My mother and I thinks he's lost his marbles, it's a bright sunny day outside. We amble outside to see him staring up, muttering "Bitch" underneath his breath. We follow his gaze to see a squirrel, hanging sideways off the chimney, clinging on with one forepaw and one hindleg, aiming her piss all over him.

We checked out the loft afterwards, and found they'd been helping themselves to my dear old Pa's chess set. Can't have been terribly tasty judging by the mess they left.

My second squirrel incident isn't so much of an attack, but it did bugger us up a bit nontheless.
We had a problem with our guttering - it just wasn't draining properly. My mum thought it probably a bit blocked by rotten leaves. She sticks a Marigolded mitt up the pipe, and sure enough, finds something a bit squishy up there. However, she's not quite able to pull it round the final bend at the bottom... bottom bend is duly dismantled, and what should pop out?

A slightly mushy, discoloured squirrel which had been dead for some time, in a cylindrical shape, looking not too dissimilar to perfectly decanted tin of dog food. We could tell it was a squirrel by the bit of tail left at the end, and the face and paws at the other.
(JohabMorelli is spenging merrily away, Tue 29 Apr 2008, 22:29, 2 replies)

Lol
Compacted squirrel. I like it.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 11:43, closed)

cylindrisquirrel
Yes, it was very bizarre, I wish I'd taken a photo. Alas, I was too young to own a camera, and I'm pretty sure my mother would've been sickened if I were to have suggested taking a snap.
(JohabMorelli is spenging merrily away, Wed 30 Apr 2008, 23:37, closed)