Bloody Seagulls.
A couple of years ago I was swimming out to a big rock about a mile off the coast down here. When I finally got out there, me and some friends climbed to the top when all of the sudden, about a hundred seagulls took flight.

Each and every one then took it in turns to try and dive-bomb us, and scare us off 'their' rock.

After almost taking hits from a fair few, I decided to fight back, so twatted one with a bodyboard. Hit the fucker for six, right out to sea, and he/she/it didn't get up for round two.

Now I still feel slightly guilty about this today, but then I remember that I was actually aiming at another kamikazee feathered fiend when I swang. Therefore I didn't mean to twat it, and I can live my life guilt free. Good stuff.
( Harold Bishop's Love Child some sort of terrifying sex magician., Wed 30 Apr 2008, 19:00, Reply)