Slight Annoyances
It seems a bit wrong of my to berate my girlfriend, after all, we wouldn’t be together if we annoyed each other that much. However, so I can join in with this week’s question, I shall list a few things, that slightly annoy me:

The morning piss: As a male, there is often a great sense of self-satisfaction from that first long, steamy piss to start the day; aiming ones todger into the toilet, holding it as if it's a fire hose and letting the urine gush forth. Ahhhhh. However, my girlfriend can rival me, which I find a bit disturbing. Often, when I'm showering in the morning, she will come into the bathroom, plonk herself on the toilet and let the floodgates open. With her hoof whistling like a steaming kettle, she'll out-power my morning piss, but also trump it in terms of smell - it's similar to stale sugar-puffs. Then she'll give me a knowing smile, flush the chain and walk out, leaving me with a look of disgust on my face and a starchy pong in my nostrils.

Spots: Everyone likes to squeeze spots. Again, there is a nice feeling of achievement from popping a juicy spot. My girlfriend thinks it entirely acceptable to squeeze not just her own spots, but mine as well. Whilst I'm asleep. Using her nails on my skin.

Stubbornness: She once left an open yoghurt on the bedroom windowsill for a day. I asked her when she was going to put it in the bin, and she muttered something about me 'bossing her about'. I had such a strong urge to put it in the bin myself, I can't stand untidiness, but out of principle I thought I'd see how long it would take her to throw it away. A week passed, and the yoghurt began to take on a new life form. Still, I stood my ground, despite now being desperate to bin it. She knew this and played on it. Two weeks later, the yoghurt had began to grow arms and legs, and would whisper 'wanker' at me whenever I walked past it. I would spend all day at work wondering if she'd finally given in, only to come home in the evening and find the yoghurt still there, smoking fags and watching my TV. After 16 days, I finally gave in and binned it.
"I knew I'd win", shouted my delighted missus, as she jumped up and down on the bed.

Climbing-Frame: She seems to think it's acceptable to jump on me with no given warning and for me to be able to take all of her weight (which, to be honest, isn't much, but when caught unexpectedly by someone shouting, "Ready, go!" and then jumping up at you out of the blue, wrapping their arms and legs around you like a crazy frog on ecstasy, is hard to adjust yourself). She'll put my back out one of these days.

Filing: When the postman comes (fnarr fnarr), I like to open my post, keep what I need and bin the rest. Then I neatly file it away if I need to. My girlfriend will not even open the envelope. I recently changed her car insurance for her. Sure enough, the post soon arrived from the insurance company, and I gave her the envelopes. A couple of weeks later, another letter from the insurance company arrived - 3 days later it was still next to the bed, unopened. I told her to open it, and inside was a letter to say her insurance had been cancelled as she had not sent of proof of no claims etc as per their first letter. Which was still unopened!

Washing: She'll try various things on before going out, and instead of putting them away, will fling them straight into the washing basket, even though they are clean. I don't understand the reasoning behind this one.

Despite these things, I love her dearly. We have a beautiful two year old daughter together, and life is good. I'd absolutely hate to see a list of things that annoy her about me - I'm sure it would be huge. Maybe I'll ask her and post in the replies...
(Monkey the Chicken Twitter: death_stairs, Fri 5 Aug 2011, 13:25, 7 replies)

My take on 2 of your headings
The morning piss:
women piss too shocker!

Stubbornness:
crow calling the raven black?
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Fri 5 Aug 2011, 13:41, closed)

I can relate to the spots thing
I had a girl who also took pleasure in just grabbing my face and squeezing a spot whenver she noticed one. Potentially tolerable in the house.. But in public walking down the street? At my mothers? At my mothers whilst eating dinner???
(Miggyman, Fri 5 Aug 2011, 13:46, closed)

I'm not a doctor
and I'd be very happy to be proved wrong, but she might want to get the Sugar Puffs thing checked out. Probably nothing (could just be dehydration if it's only in the morning), but can be a sign of diabetes.
(salvadorevincent, Fri 5 Aug 2011, 14:29, closed)

I've been worrying about this too
ever since the honey monster had his foot amputated.
(leviticus no longer likes the cut of your gib on, Fri 5 Aug 2011, 14:40, closed)

I was going to say that
Had a similar thing in 2009 (aged 37). Sugar puffs urine, lots of it. Was diagnosed Type 1 Diabetic, which is pretty unusual at that age, but does happen.
(jajwhite, Fri 5 Aug 2011, 15:33, closed)

"..erm
listen honey/babe/sweetums/* I posted up on the internet that you do massive pisses that smell of sugar puffs and the guys think you may have diabetes maybe you should get that checked out"

;)




*you get the idea
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Mon 8 Aug 2011, 14:50, closed)

Ahh, you can always spot the dads with young kids as every black item they own is grey due to it being chucked in the wash at the first opportunity - even if it'd only been worn for a few hours the evening before. And everybody surely knows that pairs of trousers are good for a month before they need changing.
(Benzyl, Tue 9 Aug 2011, 16:32, closed)