it's almost exactly 50/50
I appreciate being a solicitor is unfathomably fucking dull and you're just biding time until you're replaced by computers and can creep off to an unloved death ... but seriously ... this is even duller and more pointless than that.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 22:11, 1 reply)

But you've read it all
Which makes you even worse!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 22:27, closed)

have I fuck

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 22:35, closed)

Back
Pedalling! Classic internet!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 22:43, closed)

you're a bit dim
No offence like.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 15 Jul 2014, 22:51, closed)

For an alleged lawyer, you're not really very good at arguments if you move past the 'NO U' stage.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 8:02, closed)

Have you actually met a solicitor who's genuinely bright though?
They're all the sort of dreary pricks at secondary school whose parents have told them they're ever so special and clever and who think they 'win' every discussion because they're too thick to hear anything except their own witless rehashing of whatever trite argument they read in Hello magazine. They're glorified office clerks.

They probably eat fucking ryvita and low-fat cream cheese for a treat.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 8:05, closed)

how do you define "genuinely bright" then?

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 8:17, closed)

you wouldn't understand, dear

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 8:38, closed)

probably not
because i don't believe that posts on b3ta are the measurement of someone's intellect.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 9:28, closed)

Except you quite demonstrably do.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 10:04, closed)

no
i also take into account things like shoving metal through your face and wearing SHIT clothes
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 10:06, closed)

yerr ... it's impossible to determine that somebody is a bit dull witted based on the consistently dull witted stuff they say

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 10:11, closed)

you'd better hope it isn't

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 10:12, closed)

Christ ... you occasionally show glimmers of self-awareness and then plummet back to these fairholme levels
sad times
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 10:26, closed)

it's almost like i don't care what i type

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 10:32, closed)

Now, Wormulus, there was a internet lawyer who could argue.
He was alright for an indoor scarf-wearing cockhound.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 8:29, closed)

you wouldn't catch that foppish nobend eating dry biscuits and calorie-free spread over a tear-stained keyboard

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 8:39, closed)

what's wrong with ryvitas?
especially the seeded dipping crackers?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 9:28, closed)

nothing at all
they allow gloomy clerks and secretaries to hate yourselves a little less as you tramp pointlessly towards your graves
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 10:10, closed)

tut tut tut. truly shocking grammar by shambles.
if we're judging intellect on internet posts, well... bottom of the special class for you.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 10:12, closed)

you're really not equipped for this conversation

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 10:25, closed)

what, i'm not sneering and superior enough,
ONLINE?

wah wah wah.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 10:31, closed)

You're not bright enough to appreciate that you're out of your depth.
Imagine you're a child standing behind a wall that's too tall for you to see over. Everybody else is watching events on the other side and talking about them. You keep asking questions and hopping up onto your tiptoes and tugging on people's shirts, thinking you're involved. That's essentially what it's like for bright people to attempt a conversation with you.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 10:52, closed)

wait a minute - you think YOU'RE bright?
hahahahahaha. best. joke. EVER.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 11:47, closed)

I know I'm bright.
I have a doctorate in something extremely complicated and I invent extremely clever things for large amounts of money for a living.

I don't want to sound mean or owt but I'm so far out of your intellectual league that we may as well be different species.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:17, closed)

reduced to bragging about qualifications and earnings online?
wow. that is cool AND clever AND totally proves your point.

and also marshmallow's, much as it pains me to admit it. for someone who claims to earn a lot, that garden looked like the back of a council house in stoke.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:23, closed)

...your friend Battered does this all the time but you never raise this point.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:30, closed)

shambles just seemed to be taking the internet a bit seriously
nobody cares whether he has a gcse or ten doctorates, nobody cares whether he earns £1 or £1M, but he seems to think it was a good thing to say. i am disappoint. i thought he was more moral and lofty than into filthy lucre. he might as well buy a tv and have done with it :(

it's like hearing the pope preaching about how to have phone sex :((
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:32, closed)

oh petal
you really are bad at this, aren't you?
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:34, closed)

what, gardening?
no, that'd be you... maybe you could get another doctorate in lawn management?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:35, closed)

what are you prattling on about, typist?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:39, closed)

*recites list of qualifications and salary in desperate bid to look impressive ON THE INTERNET*

( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:43, closed)

are you having a breakdown?
I'm brighter than you. That's not the end of the world, pet. Most people are cleverer than you and I'm cleverer than most people. Which bit of this has come as a surprise? And why are we talking about lawn maintenance?
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 12:50, closed)

there is absolutely no way that you are brighter than i am
you come across as a bit of an autist, but not a remotely bright one. sorry to burst your dim little bubble, doodle.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 14:20, closed)

hahahahahahahaohhhhhfuck
you're thick
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 14:39, closed)

now you made it sound all cyberish :(
and that's Nasty

better pay another poly for a doctorate. the last one isn't standing you in such good stead.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 14:44, closed)

that was a bit nasty
For a split second I thought your previous post was serious.

My sincere apologies. There is no dignity in mocking one's inferiors.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 12:21, closed)

only one person here has been reduced to squawking about their "achievements"
you've got a good imagination. i'll give you that.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:38, closed)

herp derp
"You think you're tall."
"I'm a 6'10 professional basketball player."
"Oh my god I can't believe you're bragging about your height on the internet."

"He thinks he's posh."
"I went to Eton and I'm a baronet."
"Oh my god I can't believe he's bragging about his poshness on the internet."

Come on, love. You're not this thick.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 13:58, closed)

there is not one single thing in what you type
that makes you look anything much above "mildly retarded". you can make up as many degrees as you like, it won't change it. try typing something smart, that might.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 14:03, closed)

That's priceless!
Povvo pizza-boy thinks he's rich AND rich.

The only thing he can measure in the hundreds of thousands are posts on an ailing message board. But I am enjoying how upset you've made him - do carry on.
( Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 19:18, closed)

But I'm not trying to have an argument
If you are, then I think you'll find you might be a tiny bit.... UPSET.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 8:14, closed)

See?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 8:24, closed)

Yeah, I see
I see your tears of rage and upset
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 8:36, closed)

exactly

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 16 Jul 2014, 8:38, closed)