Aged 15...
I was experimenting with mood enhancing substances. My mates were mainly doing glue (ok for a skinhead, but not good if you are sporting quality threads) or cheap cider (that seemed to attract the slags, but not really exciting).

No sir. While not exactly doing massive drugs, I found my Friday and Saturday nights were a blast if I got my friends to have a look in their grannies medicine cabinet and bring me a few pills, especially if yellow. And this was how I building a nice little stash of Valium, Lithium, and some other pills I couldn't identify.

So... I became quite well known for standing in the corner of various clubs, pubs and youth clubs, with a large grin and a very glassy look in my eye. All seemingly gained from just 1/2 a cider and black.

So eventually, mates cottoned on, and wanted a piece of the action.

In French, I sat next to a childhood friend who is now quite famous on the north west comedy circuit, but back then he was an overweight kid with a massive foot problem. He wanted in, and wanted to buy some of the magic pills.

I carried them everywhere. Couldn't leave them at home in case my mum found them, so I always had them in a little plastic container. I pulled the lid off, and shook out the contents. Shit!!!!

I'd missed my hand, and a plethora of yellow and green pills flowed under the desk to the feet of my French teacher.

"What are these Piper?" asked the teacher.
"For my throat Miss" says I.

She looks me in the eye and says "For your throat indeed." and carried on teaching.

Why she didn't act on it and make trouble is beyond me, but top one Miss!

A few weeks later I gave the pills up entirely. It's then I discovered psilocybin mushrooms. Get in!
( Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 8:31, 8 replies)

MASSIVE DRUGS OMG
DRUGS lies

OMG dulldulldull
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 8:35, closed)

That's nothing
I overdosed on Calpol and thought my cock had turned into a turnip.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 9:04, closed)

Turnip is the good shit.
All the lightweights stick with beetroot or parsnip.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 9:07, closed)

Was the turnip shaped like a thingie?

( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Tue 22 Mar 2011, 19:23, closed)

Mmmm
Drugs

Tried (and failed miserably) to grow mushrooms a couple of years ago. Have now reverted to the more traditional/legal Fish Tank
( elgordo, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 8:46, closed)

I grew my own shrooms
but that was when you could buy grow kits off of Camden market
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 13:23, closed)

Well I don't want my elbow to feel like a fortnight.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 22 Mar 2011, 9:52, closed)

+ in a bad balloon.

( jim_bob can herd cats., Tue 22 Mar 2011, 10:15, closed)