We'd met before in Athens and spent a few days together. She lived in Seattle and gave me her number
A year later I was in Seattle, trying to buy a van for a road trip. I called her up to let her know I was in town, and we spoke a bit and flirted. The next Saturday she calls me up and invites me out that night on what I thought was a date. Some friends had already invited me to see the baseball and had tickets, but I agreed.
She arrives in a car with her boyfriend. As we drive out to some brewpub in Tacoma, she starts relating a ficticious account of our time in Greece, one that doesn't involve us kissing or fucking. I am pissed off. I'd much rather be at the baseball with my mates than making small talk with this couple. I feel not mentioning she had a boyfriend was purposefully misleading.
When we get there I deliberately get drunk as quickly as I can, consuming gallons of craft beer. I ignore the couple and start chatting to the barman. A woman at the bar I hadn't really noticed, apart from her asking me where I'm from, is whispering in my ear. My brain is foggy but I focus my attention. She is saying the kind of things she wants to do to me sexually. In fact her words were "The things I'm going to do to you". I am intrigued, too drunk for the warning bells that anyone this forward to a stranger, discounting my obvious magnetism, is probably a drunken slut and to be avoided. As much to spite the couple as attraction, I leave with the woman, waving at them as I walk out into the night with her.
She has a huge Ford pickup, and drives fast and out of control, running red lights and at one point locking up the brakes when she didn't see a car until we almost collided. normally I would be terrified, but I'm so drunk it all feels detatched and surreal. She drives over a grassy verge and into a carpark of a liquor store. She asks me if I have money for beer, but checking my wallet I find it empty. "Fuck, fuck, fuck! I wanna fucking six pack", she yells banging the steering wheel in a tantrum.
We arrive at her place. I was expecting white trash but the place is huge and well outfitted like a bachelor pad. I compliment it but she says the place isn't hers, but doesn't elaborate. She opens some cupboards looking for something and huge caserole dish falls to the floor and smashes. she just laughs and doesnt clean it up. She finds a bag of powder and offers me a line. I do one but then she doesn't. She says she doesn't like speed. Neither do I, I thought it was coke and was trying to be social.
After all her whisperings the sex turns out to be terrible. she just lies there unresponsive like a sack of potatoes while I buck away manfully. I lie there awake for a few hours while she sleeps. The sun comes up. I realise I don't want to have any more conversations with this woman. I have nothing to say to her. I dress quitely while she snores, and walk out into the dawn. I have no idea where I am. Some suburbia somewhere. dogs bark at me. eventually I come to a hardware store, it's open. I ask to use their phone and call a taxi to where I'm staying. I have to stop on the way home to get some cash
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Thu 17 Oct 2013, 19:25, 3 replies)

Raw, animal attraction, MASSIVE DRUGS, and shit in bed?
Conclusion: /qotw has achieved sentience, and is trying to blend in. Only a matter of time until it finds teh uplaod codez access to a missile defence system, and then we're all fucked - all it knows is the worst of humanity, so why wouldn't it try to purge the planet?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 17 Oct 2013, 20:10, closed)

thank you, where do I collect my prize?

( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Fri 18 Oct 2013, 14:09, closed)

Doesn't matter, had sex

(kitescreech still here, Sun 20 Oct 2013, 8:36, closed)

we all have different standards for what constitutes a bad date, I guess

( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Tue 22 Oct 2013, 22:04, closed)