Fucking hell, where to start?
Some of you may remember a song called Toca's miracle. It was released by a group called Fragma who (allegedly) ripped of two artists who were completely fucked over by the whole ordeal and left without royalties.

The first, was someone called DJ Vimto, who has gotten over it, plays a lot in bars and nightclubs, collects some royalties for original work and is a thoroughly nice chap.

The second was the vocalist, someone called Coco Starr. She was booked to play an outdoor concert in Mansfield, she had a thirty minute slot, no backing band and had evidently gone mental.

The set was broken down as follows: -

5 Minutes - say hello, tell everyone about how the music industry screwed you, tell everyone how you made your own outfit (It was pretty fucking obvious to everyone in attendance to be honest.) and introduce your first song. Toca's miracle.

4 minutes: Sing Toca's miracle.

3 minutes: Rant about how the music industry screwed you again, try and convince the audience you're not bitter. Introduce next song, which happens to sound like Toca's miracle, but with different words.

4 minutes: Sing a song which happens to sound like Toca's miracle, but with different words.

5 minutes: Rant about how you were screwed by the music industry, tell the audience how your partner is really supportive and had recently proposed to her, point out partner who stands their looking smug. Proceed to tell everyone that you're not bitter about being screwed by the music business, tell everyone that you'll write a book about it one day, ask anyone if they'd buy it, then be really enthusiastic when only one person responds. Introduce a song.

5 minutes: Sing song, after requesting it be restarted a minute in because she missed her cue.

3 minutes: Remind everyone that she made her own outfit. Enquire again if anyone would consider buying a book about how badly she was treated.

1 minute: Hurl abuse at the stage manager for telling her to wind it up because she was approaching the end of her thirty minute set, insist on singing another song.

4 minutes: Sing Toca's miracle again.

3 minutes: Tell people that despite being screwed by the music business, you're not bitter. Tell people that you will be signing pictures afterwards. Leave the stage.

She was pleasant enough to talk to, although she made it clear that she was screwed by the music business, although that only extends as far as not making as much money as others from the Fragma thing, and having trouble getting a further career going.

Hooray for mental people.
( Muns, Thu 25 Jul 2013, 15:19, 6 replies)

I lolled
and clicked.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Thu 25 Jul 2013, 15:27, closed)

Thanks for reminding me that fucking travesty of music exists, you cunt.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 25 Jul 2013, 15:32, closed)

I saw her at a club in Blackpool once and she did the same
Being in a club in Blackpool was harrowing enough without this bint.
I decided to leave after throwing my drink at her.

She was wearing some sort of feather/accident with a glue gun ensemble, looking like a washed up Vegas girl.

She has rinsed that song to within an inch of it's life and was last seen on Never Mind The Buzzcocks in the lineup. Also wearing a hideous dress.
( GeordieJay Bummers are deaf, Thu 25 Jul 2013, 15:34, closed)

Fucking hell, that song?
I wouldn't own up to that.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 25 Jul 2013, 15:35, closed)

Wow
Sounds like she certainly "needs a miracle!" lol!!1!!
(McChinaman banned, Thu 25 Jul 2013, 15:36, closed)

Is that the one where she sounds like she's singing "I'm in America"?

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 25 Jul 2013, 18:40, closed)