I once knew someone............
...who got paid fifteen quid a day for sticking mud onto potatoes.

It's true I tell you!

It was in Greece in the early 90s - we were picking oranges and one English guy who had been there for years said that he had been employed by a Greek farmer to do that very job. The theory was that it made the spuds heavier, so when the truckload was taken to the (Co-operative) processing plant where he got paid by the weight of the load the farmer would get paid more.

After three days of mind numbingly boring and pointless mud sticking, he pointed out to Spiro that he was being paid £15 a day to stick on (at best) a fiver's worth of mud.

Spiro sacked him for disagreeing with his masterplan....
(Colonel Blink is now officially a pretentious prick, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 21:44, 12 replies)

Ooh! ooh! I know a better one!
I worked for a haulage firm that monitored idling by telemetry. It fed back the idle time, and created an alert if it exceeded the 2 minutes permitted. Unfortunately, it takes longer than that in winter to get enough heat to defrost the cab.

Cue engines breaking down six weeks later, as they were being redlined from cold starts. 9 litre diesels don't like being caned like Saxos; they spit out important things like conrods and turbos.
(all my scars face forward possesses 2.5% of a hyperalloy combat chassis, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 21:47, closed)

your sig...
does that mean you have an artificial knee?
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 22:14, closed)

16 inches of steel tibia.
When I get the new knee, I'll update it to 5%.
(all my scars face forward possesses 2.5% of a hyperalloy combat chassis, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 23:22, closed)

I'll alert Sarah Connor
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 0:46, closed)

I wondered about that.
I figured you had a bit of Terminator memorabilia that you were proud of or something.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 9:12, closed)

I have one!
When I was a poor student, trying to raise money for a lads holiday, my best mate and I had a job at a university putting a sticker on each prospectus.

One of the lecturers was called Ashok Ranchod (if I remember correctly). The printers had spelt his name "Arsehole Ranchood". I don't think Ashok was best pleased.

I guess it was cheaper to pay us to put a sticker with the correct spelling over the typo on every copy than to reprint the lot. There were thousands of the bastards. We had a cracking holiday as a result though. Thanks Arsehole!
(Tighthead, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 23:26, closed)

Entirely uninteresting
but along the lines of utterly pointless jobs, my brother was brielfy employed, as a summer job whilst at university, to drive brand new cars around for a few hundred miles, so they could be sold as second-hand cars.

I have absolutely no idea why this would make any sort of economical sense to anyone, anywhere, at all.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 22:13, closed)

Possibly...
because if an official dealer can't shift their stock, 'nearly new' is a popular market and at least they have some money for the car rather than nothing. A bit like the dirt cheap off-peak tickets you get on trains and planes. Some income is better than nothing, even if you only break even.
( more balanced than jeremy beadle It wasn't me..., Thu 10 Jun 2010, 22:35, closed)

That makes sense...
but they were importing them (from Ireland, I think, which is a bad place to buy motors anyhow) with this in mind. They weren't just getting rid of old stock on the forecourt.

Good job if you can get it, though.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 23:02, closed)

it's so they can sell them as second hand
thus allowing them to maintain a high mark up on the brand spankers.
(boarders You won't catch me with my trousers, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 23:28, closed)

.
I liked this story and so i clicked.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Thu 10 Jun 2010, 22:17, closed)

Cyprus Potatoes are another culprit
Sometime in the past five years, our company developed a wierd fixation with Cyprus potatoes. As a mandatory stock line; we had to keep them in stock, then throw them out largely unsold.

I wonder how Cyprus still exists; given that out of every 20kg sack of spuds we ordered, there seemed to be 5kg consisting of dirt (and 5kg of manky rotting spuds [which reeked of bad fish], but that's another thing) - It can't be good for your nation to sell it off bag by bag, pallet by pallet.
( The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 1:45, closed)