Psychometric Testing
My company uses psychometric testing to see if employees are capable of moving up into management positions. Indeed, some of the current managers are only in their positions because they scored well on the tests.
Last year, my manager offered me the chance to be assessed. I explained my reservations; ‘they might come back and say that I’m a bit…..weird’, I argued, but was told it was a great opportunity to move up the company, make more money etc.

“Just answer truthfully and don’t say what you think they want to hear”, my manager told me. I was a bit worried that they were trying to ‘suss me out’ so to speak; trying to find out what really goes on in my head. The day came and I was introduced to the bloke who’d be carrying out the test.
I really didn’t know what to expect, I thought it would be a written test, but to my surprise it was a verbal Q&A in which he made extensive notes throughout. The assessment started with general chit chat and then progressed from there.
Some of the questions were quite ridiculous, but I went with my managers words of wisdom still ringing in my ears and answered perfectly truthfully. A few I remember:

Q: If you could be an animal, what would you be and why?
A: A unicorn, because I’d be famous

Q: Do you think of yourself as a manager, and if so, why?
A: Yes, because I think I’m better than everyone else.

Q: Do you take risks?
A: No, I don’t do any drugs.

Q: When did you last find yourself in a difficult position?
A: When attempting the ‘Rifleman’ last night
(Bloke just gave me a blank stare on this one)

Q: Shoe is to foot as glove is to
A: Washing Up

There were others which I forget now. Anyway on the back of my results, my manager promoted me! Bad management? I think so….
(Monkey the Chicken Twitter: death_stairs, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 10:50, 4 replies)

Washing up
Genius.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 10:53, closed)

Hehehe
Promoted out of harm's way, eh? ;-)

Clickity for the rifleman, even though I'm rissing like a mofo and even Urban Dictionary's let me down.

My friend was once asked at an interview what his main weakness was. Without blinking, he answered "Cheese."
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 13:04, closed)

Rifleman
www.howtodothings.com/family-relationships/how-to-sexercise
(WillI'mNot logs in twice a year, every year, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 13:13, closed)

I feel we've all had an education here today
:-)
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 13:39, closed)