Daily Dick
I used to work for a government organisation that rhymed with the Apartment of Meducation. I was in charge of the teleconferencing room, as I was the resident nerd. One day, I had to teleconference something to somewhere or somebody, and I walked in to find my manager sitting at the my server playing a game. Sir, I said, I’ve got to use this immediately.

One would assume that he would wind down his game, then slink away cloaked in the shame of being caught shirking. Alas, what he did instead was pull out his dick, wave it around a bit and shout, “Cunt, fucking suck on this and you can have your fucking server back." I actually think I managed to squeak out something politely lame like, “Hey, no thanks. I’ve had enough penis today. Sorry to bother you. Byeeeeee.”

After the initial shock of massively overstepped boundaries, I marched (is there any other method of walking that meters up with righteous indignation?) up to HR and immediately filed a complaint. There were waterworks. Yes, readers, I blubbed. I blubbed like the 19-year-old going-on-hamster that I was. Upon hearing the name of my manager, they put down their pen and proclaimed him an untouchable. He was the nephew of the governor, they said, so he could show as much soldier and submarines as he liked in the office.

Which he did. That cat was, so to speak, out of the bag. ‘Daily Dick’ does not create a happy working environment, we found.

Later, he decided to have a crafty fag in one of our server rooms. Seeing as he skipped out on fire training, the ensuing tornadic halon dump must have been quite the surprise. Imagine our displeasure when he escaped before the halon sucked all the oxygen out of his lungs. We stood by the door, eyes narrowed in concentration, breaking our brains to will at least a small amount of discomfort upon him.

I grew up in the two years that I worked there. I also doubled the number of penises I ever saw. Thanks, boss!
(TheSnark oh, c'mon, like you didn't see me coming, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 16:27, 2 replies)

Holy! Sounds like he was aspergers or something.
Made me think of that old movie "9 to 5" and what Dolly Parton et al. did to their boss. Great line: "If you ever say another word about me or make another indecent proposal, I'm gonna get that gun of mine, and I'm gonna change you from a rooster to a hen with one shot!"
( BrokenCoccyx doesn't mind if you grope on, Fri 11 Jun 2010, 18:02, closed)

What a prick
everyone knows the only way to get a blow job is with flowers. Definately not access to servers, no matter how geeky the girl.
(TwinkleFuckingToes Has a ingrown toe nail, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:51, closed)