Turns out, I worked for Jesus
I used to make and sell the staple of any balanced Canadian diet – donuts. As such, one would assume that my manager had an experience of, say, baking, perhaps even management. Alas, no. He was plucked from obscurity for the job because he was a down-on-his-luck Baptist minister. He was a man without a flock. What is such a lamb of God to do without a purpose? That lamb was to BAKE.

It became clear, however, that he was flockless for a multitude of reasons. Mental instability was one, the other was that he was never ordained - in fact, he could hardly read. He believed that he had a direct connection to God, and God would often help him manage this donut shop. God, however, was also a piss-poor manager.

I could run through tales of mismanagement, racism and long hours, but that’s been done already. Instead, I’ll leave you with this: my boss quit his job as a bakery manager so he could set up his own cult based on Christian Identity. Last I heard, my old bakery boss was the second coming of Christ calling for an end-of-times race war.

Had I known that I worked for Jesus, I would have turned up on time. My soul is TOTALLY not saved.
(TheSnark oh, c'mon, like you didn't see me coming, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 11:56, 6 replies)

Pfft, I thought this was going to be a terrible pun.
The set-up sounds like a piss-take! :D
( Bob Todd whee, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 12:27, closed)

Breaking news: God's a crap manager
More in the next testament

*gets struck down*
(Cloudane, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 12:49, closed)

"I could run through tales of mismanagement, racism and long hours"
Please do,that's the point of this QOTW.
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Mon 14 Jun 2010, 12:50, closed)

Yes Please!
More tales of misery and woe to make me feel better about my own little life! I like those. :D
(Draco Rattus ate all the pies on, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 13:53, closed)

He...I mean, Jesus...
He once got drunk and missed his shift, then tried to make me work a 24 hour (!!) shift under threat of firing.

He used to give free donuts out to this man www.splcenter.org/get-informed/intelligence-report/browse-all-issues/2004/winter/return-of-the-pastor.

I once received third degree burns on my arms; he wrapped them in cellophane and masking tape, then made me finish my shift.

DONE, DONE AND DONE.
(TheSnark oh, c'mon, like you didn't see me coming, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 13:56, closed)

Was he nice to the pink donuts
and mean to the chocolate ones?
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Mon 14 Jun 2010, 15:24, closed)