The circle of DOOM
Me: "I'd like to change the address on my account please"

Nationwide: "Not a problem sir. Our records show that we do not hold an up-to-date signature for your account. We need to do that before we can update your address record"

Me: "Oh-ho! We can kill two birds with one stone, then."

Nationwide: "In which case, could you show us an official document with your signature, please?"

Me: "Yes. Yes I can. Here's my driving licence."

Nationwide: "I'm sorry. We can't accept this - your address doesn't match the one we have on the system."

Me: "Bu... but... that's because I've moved house."

Nationwide: "You have? We can sort that for you. However, our records show that we do not hold an up-to-date signature for your account. We need to do that before we can update your address record"

Me: "Muh"

Nationwide: "Could you show us an official document with your signature, please?"

FOREVER*

* This message sent from the Weymouth branch of Nationwide where I have now resided for the last seven years, a queue going out the door, down the seafront and all the way to Poole.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Mon 20 Jul 2009, 11:55, 3 replies)

You think that's bad
try moving to a different country *without telling them first*. Apparently, they expect me to either

a) Fly back to England to change my address in person at my local branch or

b) Do something I don't quite understand involving a notary, my passport, and a duplicate letter in both English and German, all at my expense.

As I owe them about three grand, and have no need for the account any more, my attitude is that *I* don't have a problem - I know where I live. I haven't tried to run away - I've told them where I live. If their system can't cope with that, then I don't see why I should jump through hoops on their behalf.
(ragged, Mon 20 Jul 2009, 12:24, closed)

I had this with Barclays
try this argument:

"You can't accept my notification of change of address because the signature's not accepted because it no longer matches the signature on record that I gave you when I was 14 and I'm now 27, right?"

"that's correct, sir"

"So perhaps you'd care to explain to me why you've been cashing one rent cheque a month with an incorrect signature on it for the last few years*, then? Surely you're not going to tell me you don't even look at the cheques and it could have 'Mickey Mouse's fat balls" as the signature?**"

"......."

"Will you change my address, now?"

"yes, sir. Immediately"

"thank you so much"


*this was years ago, so you'd need an excuse to write a cheque these days

**I know they don't look at cheques. No reason why they should unless it's a large amount of money. But you'll never get them to admit that.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Mon 20 Jul 2009, 13:22, closed)

What do you expect?
Weymouth* - pfffttttt!



* too many years visiting my Gran and being forced to feed the ducks on Radipole lake
(Biff..., Mon 20 Jul 2009, 16:30, closed)