BarredI've only ever been barred from one pub, the "Fort St George in England" on Midsummer Common in Cambridge.*
I was part of a group caught drunkenly trying to add our names in biro to a historic signed cricket bat. I still have the pint glass I was holding as I was chucked out.
Where have you been banned from?
*All pubs in Cambridge have posh names like this. 25% fact
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chthonic, Thu 31 Aug 2006, 12:00)
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I hate clubsI really really hate clubs, so it's no surprise that when I'm dragged along to one by my "friends" I get drunk and belligerent.
It was the 21st birthday of a friend of mine, so I was up for a big one. A bunch of us went to a nice quiet bar and drank for 5 hours, before 90% realised they had to work the next day and promptly fucked off. The few who were left then suggested that we go to a club. I wasn't thrilled at the prospect, but I had nothing better to do so I went along. The place was filled with cigarette smoke, screeching 18 year old girls and bleached fashion-mullet sporting jock arsejackets, so a good time was not had. I tried to dull the pain with alcohol, but I'd spent all my money on beer by this point, so to pass the time I scrounged dropped change from off the ground by the bar, and found enough for another couple of drinks. By now totally twatted, I decided to stand on a small ledge so I could look for my friends over the crowd. A bouncer came up and asked me (quite nicely, in retrospect) to step down. My alcohol-pickled brain interpreted this as a rude order, so to "show him" I recruited five or so friends to all stand up there with me. The bouncer came back and moved along the line. "Can you please step down? Excuse me, could you please step down? Could you.. hey, didn't I already tell you to move?"
My witty reply: "Yep! And you can get fucked!"
For some reason he took exception to this and proceeded to escort me out, with me displaying an incisive wit by screaming "Look at this fucking Nazi! I bet he's a fucking small-cocked faggot!" to my admirers in the crowd. I was ejected from the premises, and the bouncer on the door informed "the fat bloke in the black jacket is banned for life."
A kindly friend (who had been pissing himself with laughter during my unceremonious exit) took me back to his place to sleep it off, where I passed out on his couch watching Star Trek: The Next Generation.
Oh, and as a child growing up in 1950s New York, my dad got banned from Sunday School for asking too many questions.
(, Thu 31 Aug 2006, 15:48, Reply)
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