We collected cockroaches in a Pringles tube all week...
I got banned from the apartment complex I was staying in on holiday a few years ago. I wasn't barred for very long, but it counts, dammit! I wish I could remember the name of the place because it was a roach-infested hell hole, and is well worth avoiding. Anyway, it was the first night of a lads holiday in Tenerife, and we managed to get completely separated. Six of us, two apartments in a big complex, with only one key to each apartment. Naturally I was not entrusted with one of these keys, having the lowest alcohol tolerance.

I had decided that the vast majority of the nightlife was dreadful but had managed to find a small bar with a live band playing Rage Against the Machine covers... result! I stayed until it shut, figuring that by this point someone would be home to let me in. I strolled back to my apartment, only to find the guy who'd had our key asleep on the concrete balcony outside. He was completely plastered, but was fairly sure that he'd given the key to someone he knew at least. Also he was in a puddle of sick, so I left him where he lay.

I made my way over to the other apartment, hoping one of them had the key or at least that someone would let me in to kip in a chair. No such luck. Outside I find another two of our party, both keyless, too drunk to see, giggling away to themselves and frantically shushing me.
"They're after us with sticks!" *snigger snigger*
Eventually I figure out the gist - they got back about an hour before I did and having no way of getting into either apartment they decided to go for a swim. The complex security took exception to this, seeing as they'd made a big deal when we got there about the pools being off limits after nine, and had been hunting them ever since. They'd been cowering behind the wall where I found them, soaked to the skin, for a good half hour. Unfortunately security had followed me and now proceed to lay into them with nightsticks before dragging them before the night manager who bars them (and me! Oh, the righteous indignation!) from the complex until nine the next morning. We are exhausted, hammered and they are rather damp. There's only one thing for it - drum'n'bass!

Eventually we were allowed back in, to find that both keys were safely inside their room, in the custody of the pillock who'd collected them both on the grounds that he was the soberest and promptly gone home and passed out. Git.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 4 Sep 2006, 17:26, Reply)