Not my story, but a local legend
There was a court case here a few years ago, concerning an old bloke who'd been caught furiously beating his shrivelled todger on the top deck of the night bus, which was full of teenage language students at the time. But this was not some seedy flasher; he was a rather smartly dressed, polite and apparently civilised gent.

When it came to court, the judge asked him to explain himself. Why would a man who was apparently a fine, upstanding, moral and responsible member of society, who had led a blameless and law-abiding life, suddenly start behaving in this way?

"Well, Your Honour, it was the first erection I'd had in twenty years, and I didn't want to waste it."

The judge - himself a man of advanced years of course - accepted that, under the circumstances, it was reasonable behaviour, and sentenced him to a fine of one penny.

So I guess that's a wanking disaster avoided, in the end!
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 10:29, 6 replies)

I require documented evidence of this
before laughing or clicking
(Smale is stuffed, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:47, closed)

I have no proof
but I was told it by a policeman who claimed to have been in the court that day.

You decide...
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 11:58, closed)

laughing or clicking
trying it for myself.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:56, closed)

this is so
covered in urbanmythness
(mersault, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:28, closed)

Did it stand up in court?

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:57, closed)

Actual LOL

(ConanTroutman thought we would free the vulture, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 16:07, closed)