Wanking Disasters Part IIDespite the warnings contained in our previous question on The Act of Onan, you all still appear to be masturbating like monkeys in a zoo. Tell us your stories of jerking the gherkin and double-clicking the mouse.
Suggested by Mrs Entity and DaveExclamationMark, voted for by YOU
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 12:22)
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A really bad dayI have only ever been caught masturbating three times in my life. (I'm 33, so not a bad record considering the near-millions of hand shandies I must have enjoyed).
Less impressive? All three times were by my mum.
Even less impressive? All three times were on the same fucking day.
By the third time, my reaction was less of shame and humiliation but more along the lines of 'for fuck's sake leave me alone woman, I'm in the middle of something here'.
(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:12, 5 replies)
After the third time ...did she get to keep you and put you on her mantelpiece ?
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Ramsay Tupper, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 12:27,
closed)
You should've just drunk the tea the first time.(, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 13:52, closed)
solutionproblem =========== keep getting caught wanking
solution=========== use more more rohipnol on your mum so she doesnt wake as often
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fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Fri 18 Feb 2011, 16:56,
closed)
That's not your default reaction?(, Sat 19 Feb 2011, 0:14, closed)
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