DVLA FREAKSHOW
I used to work in the DVLA in Swansea and like anyone normal who worked there I can tell you it's a right freakshow. Its basically filed with people from the Valleys who could never get an admin job elsewhere (and it was put there for that purpose I believe). Most of the people there live in a 1970's timewarp - gold chains, wife beating alpha male steroid abusers etc. the kind of people who woud marvel at bumping into each other in the English pubs the same shitty Spanish resort they all go to etc - when the weren't down "the club" for chicken in a basket and karaoke. Also if someone worked there, usually heir mum, aunties and sister dis tooHere are just a few of the oddballs I encountered there:

1. The guy who was stalking local media celebrities like a poorman's Freddy Bulsara. Ended up in prison and on the day of release ended up back in the big house due to coming across a local radio (one of whose dj's he was stalking) outside broadcast and freaking out.

2. The middle aged fella who used to come in a shitty old suit everyday even tho you could wear casual clothes. Heard him one talking to himself in a toilet cubicle saying "They don't understand the pressure...I can't cope...". His job? Opening and rubber stamping licence applications at the lowest admin grade.

3. The guy who used to strip off in a toilet cubicle and hang his clothes over the door ranting "they don't know me - who I am! I'll show them!

4. Mr "hello, how are you?" they guy who was known to all 3000 staff due to his obsessively repeated greeting.

5.The Flexi King: The guy who kept his own manual records of hid flexi times - four card swipes a day. Showed me 18 years worth in his desk - "I've caught them out a few times" he told me.

6. When the 2001 Pyramid Scheme scam was going on. the woman who had to explain to her elderly parents that she'd lost £3000 of their money in the backroom of a Workingmen's Club.

7. The old guy who shit his pants on the Xmas do.

8. The crazy old Welsh Nationalist woman, who whenever someone new joined our team would ask them "Wyt ti'n siarad cymraeg?" (do you speak welsh); and if they said 'no', would walk off and never speak to them again.

9. The guy who would boast about how many wanks he'd had in the office toilets that day.

10. The bloke who got sacked for writing "die you cunt" on a colleagues get-well-soon card.

11. The incompetent boss who tripped over the 'step' of a lift which hadn't stopped level with the floor and was found unconcious when the lift opened in the foyer.

12. The bloke who, at the height of the post 9/11 anthrax scare put his nose in a pile of powder found in a letter and got himself hospitalised and the entire DVLA and the road it was on quarantined by blokes in chemcal warfare suits. Turned out it was dust from a postoffice sorting machine.

I could go on and on.
(mr beepbap, Thu 24 Jan 2008, 18:41, 2 replies)

Hooray for the civil service!
Still providing work for the unemployable after all these years.
( Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 24 Jan 2008, 19:20, closed)

dvla
so thats why my new V5 hasnt arrived yet?
(dave likes cheese, Sat 26 Jan 2008, 15:06, closed)