I'm reading this....
But instead of funny or witty stories of self resilience, grace and courage in challenging circumstances, instead of cunning riposte and the use of intellect to extricate oneself from the presence of dullards and life’s little annoyances, all I’m hearing is “whine whine whine”.

Please, if you displayed a modicum of intelligence, soupcon of bloody-mindedness, a dash of charm, a scrap of guile, a suspicion of flexibility and a quanta of empathy and the vast bulk of these chimps and aged bullies would fade into the background leaving little more than a bad memory. These people are not threats to your career, they are mere speed bumps on your journey through life, imagine they are little tests to see if you are capable of handling the rude insults life will through at you with some grace and elegance and as you effortlessly sail past them towards your inevitable peter principle limit, permit yourself no more than one gloating grin in their direction, your self-restraint will do more than a full on victory dance to crush their pathetic egos.

Those that would remain are the, thankfully, extremely rare office psychopaths, and the best way to react when you find yourself in the presence of one of these creatures is un-attributable and somewhat extreme violence.
( edz314 smelled the glove on, Fri 25 Jan 2008, 14:52, 12 replies)

You're a middle manager
aren't you?
(frankspencer, Fri 25 Jan 2008, 15:04, closed)

instead of cunning riposte and the use of intellect to extricate oneself from the presence of dullards and life’s little annoyances, all I’m hearing is “whine whine whine"
that's because most of the people that are mentioned in these pages are either the sort that
a) they are so bumblingly incompetant that it makes us laugh, or
b)they are the sort where if the poster of the story were to use their intelligence to exact a little sweet revenge, or to offer a riposte, then they are in a position where life could be made very uncomfortable.

yes, there are a few posts that are a bit whiny, but for the most part this week's crop have so far been well written and interesting.

and what's wrong with whining anyway? complaining about stuff is one of life's great pleasures. that's why old people still do it when they've given up on most other things.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 25 Jan 2008, 15:13, closed)

Sometimes
The best reaction is just to yawn!
( jim_bob can herd cats., Fri 25 Jan 2008, 15:15, closed)

I refer the honorable gentleman...
...to the answer I gave some moments ago.

Che
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Fri 25 Jan 2008, 15:17, closed)

No far far far worse
I'm a consultant...... normally i'd charge £1800 for that mealy mouthed platitude above.
( edz314 smelled the glove on, Fri 25 Jan 2008, 15:18, closed)

Extremely rare?
I guess I've been unlucky then.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 25 Jan 2008, 15:37, closed)

Rare-ish
I don't mean the vengeful little tossers one encounters on a semi regular basis, i mean the proper Ted Bundy esque fuckers.

Use to work with one, Captain date-rape he was known, possibly the single most unpleasant individual I've ever met. A genuine sadist with a horrifically mysoginistic personality and a kind of intense inner anger but mixed with a randomly charming streak which could have fooled the unwary.

Thankfully he deep-sixed his car into the potomac river in DC in the middle of a particularly harsh winter.
( edz314 smelled the glove on, Fri 25 Jan 2008, 15:49, closed)

you had me until
"speed bumps on the journey through life".

Are you copying that bilge from a manual?
( Mockingbird Practitioner of SCIENCE, Fri 25 Jan 2008, 16:22, closed)

Right...
"a modicum of intelligence, soupcon of bloody-mindedness, a dash of charm, a scrap of guile, a suspicion of flexibility and a quanta of empathy"

This isn't just any patronising tiresome bullshit, this is M&S patronising tiresome bullshit...
(lofichic, Fri 25 Jan 2008, 18:53, closed)

my aren't we all rather lacking in the humour department today
I mean this is a supposedly funny website isn't it?
( edz314 smelled the glove on, Fri 25 Jan 2008, 22:13, closed)

Not with you on it
Spouting your PsychoBabble Copy-And-Paste TeamSpeak. Humourous is one thing you ain't, dear chap.
( Duke Of Belmsford has got 99 records, but Jay-Z ain't one, Fri 25 Jan 2008, 23:48, closed)

Lofichic
That just had me laughing out very loud. More than the consultant. The one good thing I can say about my manager is a standing order he gives us: If we get a management or any other type of consultancy on the phone, we are to transfer them to him where he will pick it up, clear his throat and give a very loud "FUCK OFF"
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Mon 28 Jan 2008, 22:00, closed)