A good first day? I think not.
In my time I've had to work with:
-A girl who, at age 18, had to be shown how to put things into numerical order. (Lovely girl, mind you. Nice norks too.)
-A boss who was such a pain to work for that when she walked into my elbow the entire office was convinced I'd done it deliberately.
(And most of them wanted me to do a better job next time.)
-The section who spent a year telling me they had nothing for me to do then complained to my boss because I wasn't "supporting them"
-The guy who couldn't walk from one end of the office without a break, went off for six months sick-leave, came back the day before he was to go onto half-pay then went off sick again two days later. And was once caught sneaking up on a pretty blonde co-worker. When asked what he was playing at he cheerfully told her that he was planning to fart on her head. It turned out that his previous section had axed his post just to get shot of him.
-People from Penkridge. Inbreeding capital of Staffordshire.

But the cream of the crop has to be D. D was sent to us because we had a lot on and needed a replacement in a hurry. He was an odd fish but he was all we were offered so we said Ok.
He lasted half a morning before things went horribly wrong.
D arrived for his first day and was promptly taken into the manager's office to sort out paperwork, tell him where the snack van was and so on. Then the shouting began.
Things had been going swimmingly right up until the boss had told him there'd be a bit of a delay in getting his car pass.
D went nuclear. Red-faced, screaming, swearing loco. Over a car pass,
Ten minutes later the boss had physically manhandled him out of the building and started a long series of phone calls to Personnel.
Personnel said we'd signed for him, we had to take him. We said we didn't want him because somebody would end up in hospital.
He showed up for work the next day and spent it in swinging around on his swivel chair while we tried to avoid his gaze. Then he was gone, returned to the limbo of the redeployment pool. Unfortunately this triggered a feud with Personnel that lasted for the next two years.
Still better than the inevitable punch-up though.
(Big D, Mon 28 Jan 2008, 13:48, 5 replies)

But.... but... but...
Penkridge is properly posh... If it's the capital of Staffy inbreeding you want, you need to look north to Biddulph Moor.

*shudders*
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 28 Jan 2008, 14:01, closed)

Ahh Biddulph...
18,000 people. 1 face. It's uncanny.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Mon 28 Jan 2008, 14:59, closed)

Biddulph Moor, good
Park Site, better
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 28 Jan 2008, 14:59, closed)

Oooh, I'd forgotten about Park Site
And there's always Fegg Hayes, of course. You can tell just from saying it that it's not... well... as salubrious as Scholar Green
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 28 Jan 2008, 15:03, closed)

In my defence
All the Penkridgites I ever met were a right bunch of rems, dimbulbs and mouthbreathers.

Does Highfields deserve a mention? The estate that they ringed with extra-large speedbumps to stop the locals getting out.
(Big D, Mon 28 Jan 2008, 15:19, closed)