I used to work in a bar…

and there was this guy called Colin (or ‘Col’ as he insisted on being called as it made him appear more of a ‘lad’)

Anyhoo…talk about fancy himself! – he was a sexual predator of the highest (or should that be lowest) order, and he prided himself on his ability to ‘hump and dump’ (as he called it) a different girl from the bar every night.

Now this would be bad enough, but he used to constantly boast with stories about his sexual prowess, calling himself a ‘stud’ and taunting me for my beliefs that women should be treated with respect…

A proper cunt, I’m sure you’ll agree. But it gets worse. He set up a ‘code word’.

Every time we were working in the bar and he had ‘pulled’ another poor victim of his depraved lust, he used to let out a loud ‘EEEK!’ sound, just to make all of us ‘in the know’ aware that he was about to ‘score’ again. I ask you.

After a while this got more and more irritating but we got used to it.

However, before long a new guy started work and on his first night, as the night went on, I was showing him the ropes and he heard the hideous trademark wail from Col.

‘What the bloody hell’s that noise?’ asked the new guy.

'Oh that', I said. ‘That’s just another one of those…


…

Bar-stud Col Eeks!’





I’m so, so sorry…this doesn’t happen often….please resist the temptation to click ‘Ignore’…Not all of my posts are like this…honest.

God I’m bored.
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 29 Jan 2008, 9:13, 8 replies)

...
ppffffttt. Nicely.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 29 Jan 2008, 9:16, closed)

I must admit
this isn't of your usual standard :(

BTW, most guys like that think that having a conversation with a girl, or getting her number is "scoring", it couldn't be further from the truth though. I know someone exactly the same round these parts, he thinks that if a girl makes eye contact, they want to have sex with him.
( Firkinfedup last shat on your wife's tits at, Tue 29 Jan 2008, 9:21, closed)

*Giggles*
You need to lay off the DBC mate.

Still it made me giggle for a while.
( girlinthehole, Tue 29 Jan 2008, 10:03, closed)

D'oh!
I've just twigged to what "DBC" is.

Well, if that's all it takes to give Bernard fresh air...
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 29 Jan 2008, 10:15, closed)

arf
thats fucking painful
( Drunken Vet, Tue 29 Jan 2008, 11:27, closed)

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Don't



Just don't.

"click"
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 29 Jan 2008, 11:37, closed)

I just wasted a minute of my life reading this...
I want it back!

(and another minute to type this)
( Weetobix, Tue 29 Jan 2008, 12:21, closed)

Weetobix....
Good lord you type slow ;o)

Pooflake

eeek indeed

*clicks*
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Tue 29 Jan 2008, 12:49, closed)