Bruce the Pit Dweller
I have a mate called Bruce, who works in a coal mine.

As a result of his chosen profession he is perpetually covered in a fine layer of soot, from head to toe. This wouldn't be so much of a problem if he didn't insist on coming straight to the pub on Friday nights whilst still bedecked in his work garb.

The barmaids in the local have taken to calling him "Coal Leg", a moniker which he has grown quite fond of.

After one particularly heavy drinking session he boarded a bus to speed him safely home, but the guiness in his system couple with the gentle vibration of the bus caused a reaction that began to irrigate his colon.

Now Bruce is somewhat uncouth, in fact he is about as subtle as a napalm enema. Which is fitting, as the reaction that was brewing in his anus was easily as deadly as napalm.

So when tension grew to the point where it was now unbearable for Bruce to contain the faecal faux-pas he simply shuffled to the back of the deserted bus, dropped his sooty trousers and laid a gargantuan shit across the back seat.

We congregated at our local the following evening and Bruce related the previous evenings shenanigans to anybody within earshot. The bar staff now refer to him as:

"Bus-Turd Coal-Leg"


(I am deeply sorry, I saw Pooflake doing it and thought it would be a good idea)
(JasperSinister is offering two tickets to the gun show, Tue 29 Jan 2008, 15:02, 5 replies)

Don't you ever read Pooflake's posts
Nothing he does is ever a good idea.
( girlinthehole, Tue 29 Jan 2008, 15:09, closed)

concurs^^

...
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Tue 29 Jan 2008, 15:16, closed)

<hangs head in shame>
This is worse than that time I got diagnosed with cancer of the puppy.
(JasperSinister is offering two tickets to the gun show, Tue 29 Jan 2008, 15:18, closed)

bloody marvelous!
Love the napalm emema analogy *roflol*
one of the best puns too :o)
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Wed 30 Jan 2008, 13:15, closed)

I love you.
( Bongmaster Is a Junglist Soldier., Thu 31 Jan 2008, 15:22, closed)