b3ta.com qotw
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Question of the Week » Bastard Colleagues » Post 117434 | Search
This is a question Bastard Colleagues

You've all known one. The brown-nosing fucker, the 'comedian', the drunk, the gossip and of course the weird one with no mates who goes bell ringing, looks like Mr Majika and sports a monk's haircut (and is a woman).

Tell us about yours...

Thanks to Deskbound for the idea

(, Thu 24 Jan 2008, 9:09)
Pages: Latest, 16, 15, 14, 13, 12, ... 1

« Go Back

Hey...it's me!
Having just been passed another sodding leaving card this morning, I've realised that I may be the bastard colleage around here. As I couldn't give a toss about most people I work with, and as I'll never see them again once they've left, I can't be arsed to give any thought whatsoever to making up a witty, interesting or heart-felt comment in a leaving card. Same goes for birthday/wedding/baby etc. cards. What I do each and every time is copy someone else's comment exactly, but write it just above where they've written it...so it looks like they copied me. Saves me hours of brain-wracking each year.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2008, 14:02, 9 replies)
hmm, not bad...

I always write 'All the best, Pooflake' and then get a different colour pen and write 'I'm glad you're leaving - FUCK OFF!' with my left hand somewhere else in the card and leave my boss's name.

How I laugh

*comes to slow realisation that I am the bastard colleague*
(, Wed 30 Jan 2008, 14:06, closed)
That's brilliant!
I may have to employ this in future. I normally just write "Fair do's, Gibbon"

Either that or I buy people extremely inappropriate cards, such as "congratulations on the birth of your babies!" for a birthday card. Supreme Crow knows that all too well...
(, Wed 30 Jan 2008, 14:33, closed)
Wow you got leaving cards?
Lucky you! Maybe my collegues are more bastard than yours. I finish at the end of the week for a new job and I havnt had anything yet. Not even the boss has said anything to me. I feel like getting up now.. see if anyone notices!
(, Wed 30 Jan 2008, 14:42, closed)
all of these ideas are superb
well done gentlemen (and/or ladies)
(, Wed 30 Jan 2008, 15:15, closed)
I usually put "I'm so gutted you're leaving [name], still, we'll always have the lunchtimes in the toilets!, signed Margret"
(, Wed 30 Jan 2008, 15:51, closed)
@Oscillating Gibbon
Yep, it's true. How can I forget such gems of birthday cards as the homemade "Happy Ramadan" (complete with crudely drawn Christmas tree on the front), or perhaps the inspired - genuine card made by a greetings card company - "Thank you for being such a lovely flower girl at our wedding."

Of course, it's your birthday soon, isn't it? (*Sinister laughter*)
(, Wed 30 Jan 2008, 16:12, closed)
I know someone who writes the best messages
Usually it's "Sorry for your loss" in every kind of card, unless it's someone he fancies, then he leaves his phone number with no name, they all sign the company christmas card too and he writes something like happy birthday or happy valentines day.
(, Wed 30 Jan 2008, 16:44, closed)
i have
started writing "merry tuesday!" in every card, no matter what the occasion. if i give a handmade card, however, my current favourite is my "commiserations on the loss of your hat" card. i gave that to a friend for her birthday. for the next hour, she alternated between laughing and giving me funny looks.
(, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 0:40, closed)
I write "Merry hallow new St boxing fire day"
Covers most eventualities.
(, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 15:09, closed)

« Go Back

Pages: Latest, 16, 15, 14, 13, 12, ... 1