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This is a question Bastard Colleagues

You've all known one. The brown-nosing fucker, the 'comedian', the drunk, the gossip and of course the weird one with no mates who goes bell ringing, looks like Mr Majika and sports a monk's haircut (and is a woman).

Tell us about yours...

Thanks to Deskbound for the idea

(, Thu 24 Jan 2008, 9:09)
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i used to work at onetel telecom company. yes I’m not afraid to say the name ONNNEEEETELLL.
if any of you are/were aware of it- you'll know they treated their customers like crap, this was due to the worst kind of business management - but that’s another story.
As i started there in customer service, i of course got all the crap from both sides of the fence. I was one of the good guys, i would fix the customers problem even if i didn’t get paid to do it. i was on on the side of truth and justice.

So one typical conversation was this customer asking why he found it hard to get through to a foreign number with our cheap service compared to BT's expensive service. I did the usual line fault tests and logged a fault with the relevant team and told the guy that's all i could do. now i had to tow the company line here, i couldn’t really tell him "look mate if you use a rusty old bike, you’re not going to get there as quickly or as comfortably as you would in a BMW, are you?" - "guess what, onetel's the rusty bike".

anyhoo i was chatting with my friend at break and just saying to him about how impossible that situation is to deal with. it was at this point i said out loud the words "what does he [customer] want me to say?- that onetel's shit!?". At this point a very Fat and very Ugly Bitch from H.R. comes over - all she'd heard is me saying the "onetel's shit" part of the conversation. she looks at me up and down and says, if i come in with trainers on again i will be sacked. - this sort of obnoxious abuse of power was tipical for H.R. and the threat didnt supprise me one bit. At this point my friend say's; "I'm wearing shoes miss!" classic. (btw my trainers were dark brown and very shoe-like, i was wearing smart trousers and shirt) anyway i got my own back years later when i raped and murdered her. (that part was a lie)

PS my friend (a guy) was a goth with long jet black hair and purple velvet top and black fingernail polish on at the time - and was of course not told off. on dress down friday he could often be seen wearing a skirt - hi Geoff! how you doing.
(, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 12:50, 6 replies)
I have never understood...
... the concept of dress-down Friday. Utterly baffled thereby.
(, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 13:00, closed)
Dress Down Friday
is apparently to "boost" the "team's" morale, thereby increasing "productivity" and the meeting of "personal targets".

It's a bag of shit, as is almost anything else HR and their hellish half-sister Marketing dream up in order to try and look as if their departments have a point.
(, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 13:17, closed)
On fridays
We dress down. It means to wear casual attire instead of the (common in UK offices) more formal "office" attire, often consisting of a suit or shirt and trousers for the gentleman, and smart suit or blouse/skirt combo for the ladies.

The casual attire is often smarter than one would wear at home, reflecting a respect for ones position within the office environment.

We call it "dress down friday" because we "dress down" from formal clothing, on a "friday".

Obviously, if you work in "media" you dont know what I am talking about because you are cool and hip. I understand. In fact, I enjoy seeing all your twatty trendy specs. They look GREAT. And dont let anyone tell you otherwise.
(, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 13:19, closed)
Calm down. I know precisely what the convention is. I just don't understand it or what it's supposed to achieve. (For myself, I actually like wearing suits, and will do so when not at work when I'm in the mood. I also like wearing shorts, and will do so at work when I'm in the mood and it's not too cold.)
(, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 13:25, closed)
I've always hated the idea of "Let's increase morale"
Mainly because HR don't know the first thing about it. If they wanted to boost morale they'd hire a bunch of strippers and lay on enough booze to kill several elephants.
(, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 13:26, closed)
this guy geoff
was 6ft and like to inhance his hight by wearing massive black platform boots in the office. not on a friday. I LOVE YOU GEOFF!!!
(, Thu 31 Jan 2008, 13:32, closed)

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