Birth
Sentimental old git, that's what I am:

Monday, December 24, 2001

8.30am
Joined T on the post/antenatal ward.
9.15am
Anti-embolism stockings. Lovely. T, not me.
10.00am
Went down to delivery suite. Sat about. Decorated room with inflated examination gloves.
11.00am
Into theatre. T prepped for spinal. Needle in Anaesthetist's hand. Knock on door - "We have an emeregency breech. She needs to be off the table now." T gets off the table and we return to our little room.
11.10am
J fashions crude antenna from foil pisspot. Shoves into back of telly.
11.10am-12.30pm
We watch Santa Claus The Movie. Bloody awful.
1.30pm
Back into theatre. Lots of people. Anaesthetist tells me I look like some bloke. "Who's that?" "He plays cricket for Australia." Well of course I knew that.
1.48pm
"Waah!" Hello Holly. Holly wrapped in tea towel and slung under a grill. Approximately 4.5lbs.
1.49pm
"Waah!" Hello Rosie. Rosie wrapped in tea towel and stuck under her own grill. Approximately 4.5lbs. Rosie expresses dissatisfaction by voiding bowels mid-procedure. If you don't like references to bowel movements you'd better get used to them. We got babies. That's all we're going to talk about.
2.00pm
J slung out while they suppositorise, catheterise and cross-stitch his wife. Goes for a sandwich.
2.30pm
J visits neonatal unit where twins are in incubators. Awww! Gorgeous! Notices "Rosie" is clean as a whistle and "Holly" is caked in baby poo. Hmm. They seem to have switched them. Chooses to overlook it. Say nothing, it won't be the last time... They are both breathing by themselves with next to no additional oxygen - 24% or something. One of those rugby-player nasal strips would have the same effect.
3.00pm
Can't find wife. Finds her hidden in paediatric recovery unit. Grown-up recovery full of all the emergency section mums who caused us to watch Santa Claus The Movie.
3.30pm
J goes back to special care to see twins. Still too soon to do anything unnatural and freakish like, you know, actually touch them, but can't get enough of counting fingers and comparing relative volumes of baby noses and tip of adult little finger. Spends rest of day wondering what to do and feeling too bewildered to answer any phone calls.
( collapsibletank procreates, Wed 16 Mar 2005, 11:49, Reply)