pride comes before a fall, but i didn't.
if you've spent £30 on sexy underwear, £20 on vodka, £30 on a meal and 4 hours washing, shaving, primping and polishing, all for the first big night of sexy time with your new bloke, tripping over a shoe on the bedroom floor and chipping your front teeth on the windowsill whilst mid sexy walk is NOT the perfect way to end the night and ensure plenty of sex.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 16:04, 13 replies)

"No, no, honestly, I'm fine, I'M FINE!
Look, just do me! We can go to A&E later!"
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 16:27, closed)

teh age old cry of friday nights every where

( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 16:29, closed)

heheheheh

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 16:33, closed)

hehe!

( girlinthehole, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 16:38, closed)

Like this one SM!
*click*
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Fri 24 Jun 2011, 16:47, closed)

Worked out alright for him then.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 22:30, closed)

not really
he's dead.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 22:38, closed)

Worked out alright for him then.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 22:57, closed)

pffff

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 23:05, closed)

I'd make that call
on the £20 of vodka. Oh & the shoe was a little bit at fault too.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 24 Jun 2011, 23:16, closed)

it was a 6-inch red velvet wedgie
and i love my vodka
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Fri 24 Jun 2011, 23:33, closed)

I love your vodka too. I like mine more.
& you can't have any. Back off!
;p
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 25 Jun 2011, 0:00, closed)

Why didn't you just offer to fuck him before you spent all the money?

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 15:52, closed)