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This is a question Bedroom Disasters

Big Girl's Blouse asks: Drug fuelled orgies ending in a pile of vomit? Accidental spillage of Chocolate Pudding looking like a dirty protest? Someone walking in on you doing something that isn't what it looks like?... Tell us about your Bedroom Disasters

(, Thu 23 Jun 2011, 15:14)
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Not me, but the lesbians.
My two clam jousting friends decided to get themselves a cute little puppy dog (for some unkown reason).

This little puppy is now a lot bigger and has developed the hobby of eating their undercrackers.

This would all be fine if he chewed them first, but, or no, he just eats out the crotch and swallows the rest down. This results in some rather pitiful whining as he drags his arse across the floor with some floral linen sticking out of his jacksy.

Now one day I was over for dinner and the dog started up on his whining "I've got pants stuck up my arse, do something about it!" he said in his best doggy fasion. Now mein hosts are a polite lot and thought they couldn't extract the pants in front of me, the kitchen had food in and the only place left with room for the two of them to perform this extraction was in the bedroom, so off they went half carrying, half dragging the canine with them.

They were in there for a couple of minutes before there was a loud scream, a laugh followed by more screams, insults and the sound of two ladies racing each other to the bathroom.

It transpires that whilst lesbian 1 held the dog, lesbian 2 had the unenviable job of retrieving the pants from the dogs arse with a pair of tweezers. As the pants were just about out of the orifice the elastic on them decided to come into action, pinging the overly soiled knickers back into number 2s face, prompting no 1 to laugh like a loon. Number 1, who had had the shitty end of the deal in the first place was most upset, and even more so at her partners immaturity, proceded to throw the poo covered pants at her laughing girlfriend, scoring a direct hit onto a laughing face. Cue screams, insults and running to the bathroom in an atempt to be the first one there and lock the other out.

After that, the dinner part didn't go down too well!
(, Sat 25 Jun 2011, 15:51, 18 replies)
either this is a true story
or you have a very specific fetish.
(, Sat 25 Jun 2011, 16:05, closed)

(, Sun 26 Jun 2011, 11:55, closed)
you were playing 'the dog', right?
(, Sat 25 Jun 2011, 17:08, closed)

It's called the cunt punters and the canine
(, Sat 25 Jun 2011, 17:39, closed)
Eating undies is weird.

(, Sat 25 Jun 2011, 22:32, closed)
That last sentence about the dinner makes it much harder to fwap to.

(, Sat 25 Jun 2011, 17:56, closed)
Can we call them "Lesley" and "Fliss"
and tell the story again. I'm confused who threw number two's at who.
(, Sat 25 Jun 2011, 19:01, closed)
just every now and then the pants dont go through
Cue an expensive little game to retrieve them. This can result in much fun... especially when you present the retrieved underwear and the female partner says "Those are not MY knickers". I cant imagine what was said when they got home.
(, Sat 25 Jun 2011, 19:43, closed)
I disbelieve the last sentence.
Lesbians always go down well.
(, Sat 25 Jun 2011, 20:06, closed)
Somewhat predictably....
...pictures, or it didn't happen.
(, Sat 25 Jun 2011, 20:15, closed)

I had a dog once who used to eat knickers too - clean or soiled, he wasnt bothered. Never got any stuck though, used to find them in little steaming heaps in the garden when I cleared up after him.
(, Sun 26 Jun 2011, 11:52, closed)
What has their lesbianism got to do with anything about this tale of animal cruelty?

(, Sun 26 Jun 2011, 11:54, closed)
Makes it sexy times ten.
(, Sun 26 Jun 2011, 20:04, closed)
Can you tell it again only this time use Darth Vader and C3PO instead of lesbians.
(, Sun 26 Jun 2011, 20:30, closed)
You naughty little boy,
who told you what a lesbian is?

Upstairs to your room; NOW!
(, Thu 30 Jun 2011, 3:04, closed)
Now available on YouTube
"Two Girls, One Pug"
(, Sun 26 Jun 2011, 22:09, closed)
"Two Girls, One Pup," Shirley?
(, Sun 26 Jun 2011, 22:12, closed)
ah, lesbians...
...can't live with them, can't live without them, can't throw disease-infected shitty knickers at their faces.
(, Mon 27 Jun 2011, 0:07, closed)

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