Really…REALLY?

I’ve spent the whole of my life around objects that it would be possible to shove up my arse. I’ve washed mangos in the shower and hoovered naked. I’ve slipped on a wet floor getting out of the bath and once accidently sat on a carrot. Not once did any of these inanimate objects violate me, but you get left alone for 2 minutes with a sexy shoe, and bang it’s up your arse.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Tue 28 Jun 2011, 10:50, 1 reply)

I've got six pens on my desk
it's statistically unpossible for me to reach lunch without at least two of them slipping up my ricker.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 11:01, closed)

I don't believe this for one minute.
I strongly suspect that as soon as you've finished with each colour you put it back into your lovely furry pencil case and zip it up firmly to prevent those other nasty boys from stealing them.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Tue 28 Jun 2011, 11:33, closed)

^^^^^
That.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 11:36, closed)

How dare you!
It's neon pink plastic with "shambles ♥ wham 4 eva" biro'd on it.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 11:53, closed)