once, i was traveling in the southwest of yunan province in china
I'd crossed the border from laos, and cleverly hadn't brought any guide or phrase book. Using hand signals, I got a hotel room in some ugly highrise on the edge of town. It was not long after I'd gone to bed, listening to the weak overhead fan and some chinese pop music that sounded to my western ears like a women being tortured, when a bad case of the shits struck. To get to the toilet, I had to walk down 15 flight of stairs and across a large courtyard to a ditch toilet. When the second bout came upon me I knew I wouldn't make it that far, so decided to shit on the tray they left in the room with a glass of water. Soon I'd filled the tray with watery shit, which then overflowed onto the bed when I tried to shift it to the floor. More shitting occurred during the night, some of it made it to the tray, some stayed on the bed. To this day I don't know whether this is normal practice for people who oversleep by no more than 10 goddamn minutes, but at 9.10 three middle age women burst into my room, stopped momentarily to take in the scene of shit on the floor, shit all over the bed sheets, a naked westerner covered in shit, and a tray filled with shit as a nice centrepiece, replete with a glass filled with shitty water, before erupting into screaming chinese. They followed me and my shitty pants down each flight of stairs, yelling at me in a continuous cacophony, and followed me like harpies to the bus stop. I gave them what money I had to spare, about double the room rate, though they almost threw this back at me and their haranguing didn't abate in the slightest until my minibus pulled away. The shitting continued, to the horror of the guy in the suit who had the pleasure to be seated next to me, but that's another shitty story
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 23:36, 9 replies)

Well that was a load of shit.
(hairybuddha, Tue 28 Jun 2011, 23:57, closed)

you said it, brother

( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 3:36, closed)

Needs more shit

(Smale is stuffed, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 8:11, closed)

Simple
yet entertaining.
(username failed moderation, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 8:22, closed)

cumquat bumsquit
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 8:35, closed)

Crazy Chinese!
I'd have been thrilled if you shat all over my establishment.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 8:54, closed)

I know right?
I've dirty protested in hotels all over europe and north america and they've all been like "merci beaucoup" and "have a nice day" and "would you like fries with that".
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 9:07, closed)

give me your address

( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 18:16, closed)

Would you like my credit card details, too?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 20:45, closed)

I never get tired of any stories involving things coming out of, or going in to, bums
And yours was well written and made me laugh so have a click
( pixel_fucker is going to need a bigger brush, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 9:11, closed)

Did you consider accidentally sticking a stiletto heel up your bum?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 9:16, closed)

platforms

( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Wed 29 Jun 2011, 18:15, closed)

I'm not sure
but I think cumquat may have been full of shit.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Wed 29 Jun 2011, 12:46, closed)