That’s because you’re contrary cock.

For example all bacon a sandwiches are't equal. There’s the standard waterlogged back bacon in generic sliced white and flora. OK it’s better than no Bacon sandwich but…

Grill dry cured streaky bacon, lightly toasted crusty bread, butter, tomato sauce.
AND
Microwave a slice of Serrano ham for two minutes and add just before serving. In microwaving the Serrano will become a crisp essence of grilled bacon that will give crunch and depth of baconess to the sarnny the like of which you’ve never experienced.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Fri 27 May 2011, 11:17, 5 replies)

I will bear that in mind...

(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:18, closed)

Now this!
This I can relate to!
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 27 May 2011, 11:54, closed)

This should be in the top tips page
and it is one I will be trying this coming (fnar!) weekend.
( M3rx likes the Asian ladies, Fri 27 May 2011, 12:41, closed)

Thank you,
I will be trying this for sure. Sounds awesome!
(robbersdog, Fri 27 May 2011, 23:25, closed)

Two minutes?
Don't you mean 'cremated'?
( His Popiness the Hole Invaded Poland on, Mon 30 May 2011, 23:26, closed)

it's a balancing act
you want it to be completely crisp, so if you hit it with a knife it shaters, but not burnt.
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Tue 31 May 2011, 16:55, closed)