The names and details have been changed to protect the innocent
This Sunday I have been invited to the Yurt of my good friends Cassandra and Trilliban. For many previous Sunday's I have found excuses not to go because as much as I love Miranda and Sebastian, they have two major flaws. They are Vegetarians and, more importantly, neither of them can cook. Teh last time I ate at Phillianda and Maurasatian's Tee-Pee I was served a pile of Quorn pieces, some bullet hard peas and a boiled baking potato. There wasn't even any gravy to soak up the pain.

I am out of ideas as to how to say no to visiting Alisonadia and Victorimus' Igloo now, I have run out of dead grandparents, had all the major communicable illnesses and my brother is not about to be come a new father any moment now. So my question is this...

Do I tell her the food sucks, or him?
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:08, 8 replies)

Tell them to grow up, get their hair cut, and get a job.
It's the only language they understand.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:10, closed)

just say you'll eat before you go and not to worry about cooking

( Victor Meldrew, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:21, closed)

The invite was specifically for Sunday Lunch
but yeah, I'll pretty much be trying something like that. I'll claim I've been invited to my parents for lunch but would love to go round after.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:24, closed)

i dont think they actualy worry about cooking if you read the wordage
how ever simply tell them that as lovely as there are you cant eat with hippercrits ie people who spout on about not eating meat one moment then franticly stuff cock in there mouthes the next however by the simple expediant of colouring your cock green to look like a cucumberruhmba she can satisfy her meat free cock cravings and you wont give a flying tampon about any of it if she noshes down on your manstick
may not work if you are of the femail types in which case simply take chocolate and a double ended meat free dildo and web cam for eveidence
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:11, closed)

Tell them you've got a new job working for Microsoft
and have to leave early on Sunday as you're doing volunteer work for the local Conservative party.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 9:33, closed)

they will never belive you
if you tell them you work for microsoft best just tell them that you are casting for a new porn film based on vegitarians who get there sex kicks from watchiing other peple nosh down of veges
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 10:33, closed)

Just imagine that they accept your excuses
since they only exist in your imagination anyway.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 16:58, closed)

Why not take them a veggie cooking book as a gift?
Or suggest that you'll cook, and take over veggie ingredients so they can watch you do it. You can say it's so you do it together and so they know it'll be veggie, but really it's so you get good food. Bonus- they might learn from it and be inspired.

I'm a shit cook. Also a veggie. I get either too impatient or distracted. My boyfriend tends to takes cooking off me and I watch him. He's great with spices. I can now cook dishes that even my mum wants me to make for her. =D
( vix0r was not Matthew on, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 19:02, closed)