Grey Pulp
Best: By far my mum's Spaghetti Bolognese. No fancy ingredients but always made a day in advance and very slow cooked. Have met obscure relatives at parties and they have mentioned it.

Worst: Woke up after crashing at an all night house party in Leicester I think it was. Was starving hungry and quickly decided to hit the road in search of a caff, as most of the comatose figures strewn about the house didn't look like surfacing for some time. Thought I'd track down the host of the party who was ensconced under her duvet nursing a serious hangover. As I said my goodbyes and thanks I spied on the windowsill a leftover takeaway, complete with brown paper bag that had gone transparant due to the leakage from what I could only assume to be chicken balls or the like.

Well I've eaten worst things for breakfast so I asked If I could help myself to her leftover take away 'Sure' came the reply from under the duvet. I opened the bag and saw it was indeed full of those little crispy balls of goodness from the local 'Chinky', stomach rumbling I grabbed one and bit it in half...

...I don't remember the taste to be fair, but I can recall the unerring instant sensation that I had done something very, very wrong. Before I began to chew I remember looking at the remaining half in my hand, the internal contents were dull grey and in a state between liquid and solid, and contained unidentified black shapes which I swear began to move.

I instantly spat the mouthfull out onto the floor and threw the remains across the floor. I felt dirty and unclean with that pre-gag shiver that starts in the small of your back and vibrates up your spine to your skull. 'What the fuck was that!'

As it turns out, it wasn't her room. It was her flat mates. Who was backpacking halfway round the world.

What that take away had once been or how long it had been sitting on a sunny windowsill for I shall never know.
(onemunki Down there for dancing, Wed 1 Jun 2011, 13:17, Reply)