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This is a question Best Comebacks

At some point we've all been insulted. What's the wittiest retort you've ever uttered leaving the antagonist lost for words? Share your wisdom so that we learn, and have a come back ready for every occasion.

(, Thu 29 Apr 2004, 14:19)
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Oh this takes me back.......
Went out for a "quiet" meal with my wife one evening to a little restaurant. It was royally spoiled by some loud monied twunt, who basically thought everyone wanted to hear what he was saying. Every other word he shouted was some form of expletive, and every other sentence was about how wonderful he was.

By the end of the main course I was well hacked off with him and I went to the bar (which was right next to his table) to order another drink. He chose this moment to exclaim loudly that he ran a company that employed 500 people.

I turned to him and said fairly loudly myself "Really, and I bet they all think you're a twat like everyone in here does".

I got a round of applause and he shut up after that.

Also when at school many many moons ago, I got thrown out of a Home Ec class due to asking the teacher "Should we eat it or bury it?" with regards to the vegetarian lasagne she had just made. Also for following that question later by when she asked what would really finish it off replying "Coffin lid".
(, Thu 29 Apr 2004, 19:36, Reply)

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