The aftermath
Apologies in advance to lunchtime readers

Im not much of a bleeder, I can mulch joints (both times I have torn ligaments in my left knee my entire leg from knee to toe went very impressively blue / green / brown / puce / purple splodge and stripes after having the knee drained and strapped up) and break silly little bones but not really hacked and slashed myself into a bloody mess.

However, a lot of the stories here have ended up in hospital, and I had the pleasure for a few years of doing a job that involved collecting the operating instruments from the theatres, washing/cleaning them, checking, packing and finally sterilizing by autoclave ready for use again.

Each and every day would involve handling blood and gore splattered instruments, trying to remove hundreds of tiny bone fragments from neurosurgery drills and lugging all of the threatre waste to the disposal chutes that go to the incenerators. If I was lucky I would maybe have to completely change theatre blues and shower once for getting covered in blood or general entrails.

At least once a week you would get some sets wrapped up in biohazard tape and environmental waste bags, from a patient who would be at least one of MRSA+ HIV+ or alphabet Hepatitis+ (usually B or C) all instuments have to be counted, opened up to be cleaned properly and wiped clean if going through the washers brokje them, air powered drills for instance. Fear of needlestick injuries from scissors or accidentally left scalpel blades and needles was constant and very intense if again the used stuff was a biohazard risk, all of this for the joy of NHS wages (when I left after 5 years my basic was £9,500)

Highlights of the job include

A nurse walking out of a theatre and waving at me with a hand of an arm freshly amputated above the elbow.

Someone accidentally leaving a removed eyeball on the trolley for us to collect.

Watching a motorcyclist having his leg rebuilt at 10pm christmas day after he went under a lorry, the surgeon spent a good hour wading through so much minced meat of thigh to try and pin his leg back up. Most major orthopeadic trauma kits cost tens of thousands of pounds so hospitals can only afford 1 or 2, meaning as soon as they are used they need to be turned round and available within 3 hours, as autoclaves take 2 hours to fire up we would get called out mid operation, and the cooler surgeons and staff would let us scrub up and watch.

The low-lights? doesnt include blood so will add as a reply, and its even grimmer than the above!
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 12:54, 8 replies)

the worst?
Manual evacuation.

Basically when a patient is full of shit, the absolute ultimate in constipation and needs to have it removed. So they are opened up and the shit is literally dragged out of the intestines, the stench is beyond belief and worse than anything I have ever experienced, coming from someone who worked in a sewage farm you can imagine the honk!

enjoy your food everyone, I have just had a lovely egg sarnie
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 12:58, closed)

Great story
I guess your ready for anything life throws at you now, gore wise.
( girlinthehole, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 13:04, closed)

pretty much
for those years I was pretty chilled about injuries and car crashes, and horror movies just did nothing for me!

gone back to my usual squemish self now though, but nope, blood does not phase me at all!
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 13:08, closed)

I was eating
teacakes which kind of look like congealed eyes!

Don't mind blood can't stand phlem though *dry heave*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 13:11, closed)

is this
when you worked at Addenbrookes?
(The Empress it seems you CAN polish a turd!, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 13:43, closed)

Empress
It certainly was yes, for 5 years! (I never know when to quit a job)
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 14:04, closed)

I just pissed myself laughing
at the waving of the amputated arm.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 16:30, closed)

just wait
til you have your first kid* and it drops its first couple of dumps. that'll have you gagging for sure

*assuming you haven't had any already
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 13 Aug 2008, 18:02, closed)