The house that Jack (of all trades) built.
My Dad basically built the house I grew up in.

It started life as a run down, deserted 1 bedroon bungalow with an outside toilet. It is now a 4 bedroom, two bathroom beautiful looking place.

That hides more pitfuls for the unwary than The Crystal Maze. There is:

The conservatory roof that has a wandering leak that gets 'fixed' and moves, gets 'fixed' and moves, gets 'fixed' and moves. He's been chasing it for five years now and I think it's winning.

The shower door that opens inwards, so you have to squeeze round it to get in and out. But its too tightly sprung, so is liable to snap shut on you at any moments.

The boiler that has two settings. Furnace and Off. No matter what it says on the dial.

The pair of kitchen cupboard doors where one opens whenever the other one shuts.

The garage entrance that is precisely 1 inch wider than the widest point of the car. Although that's brilliant just for the fun of watching Mum try to park.

The loft hatch which was measured precisely to be exactly the same size as the entrance to the loft, rather than maybe an inch wider so that it actually settled on the ridges it was supposed to. It stays in place by being twisted ever so slightly so that it catchs and doesn't fall. You can't even see the gaps. unless you look up.

The back step to the garage which, realistically, you ought to build a step to get onto.

I'm tempted to go round there at the weekend to make a note of the things I've forgotten and update this list.

I think my Dad's motto is 'If a job is worth doing, it's worth doing half of'
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 14:10, 4 replies)

One of those reminds me . . .
when I moved back to the UK, we rented a place for a year. One of my ABSOLUTE non-negotiable must haves was a garage, to park my sparkling new Jaguar in.

So, place was duly rented, 12 month contract signed, I arrived in the UK, picked up my sparkly new car and drove to our new house, to find the car fitted perfectly in the garage, as long as you didn't need to open the door more than 2 inches.

Result:


( Not Pineapple anymore, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 15:45, closed)

There has to be a solution.
Secure two well-placed blocks to the floor of the garage. Line up the car. Straighten the steering, leave the handbrake off, get out. Walk to the front of the car. Push gently.

When you need the car, you'll need to find something on the front you can pull on.
(sabre-tooth monkey, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:21, closed)

It's actually on a slight slope.
Even if I had been able to shove it into the garage, getting it out would have frequently involved running after the bastard.
( Not Pineapple anymore, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 16:32, closed)

Fold down the back seats
and climb out and in through the boot?
( argyleblanket The man on the roof works for me, Thu 10 Mar 2011, 19:32, closed)