Bodged Breast Surgery
A rewritten pearoast
If you can bother to rootle through my posting history you can find the original account.
So anyway many years ago after a farcical stay in hospital involving a breast lump that turned out to be a harmless although puss filled abcess and the shoddy treatment I received in the hospital after it ruptured, I decided that should it ever happen again I would sort it out myself rather than waste mine and the overworked hospital staffs time
So thats why a while later I found myself holding a newly purchased sterile surgical scalpel, wiping the lump in saline solution and gritting my teeth.
One small cut later, followed by me crying my lungs out as I pressed on the raw hole in my breast to expel the nasty gunk that oozed out.
Cleaned it up, slapped on a surgical dressing and then went off to spend a week doing wilderness survival, cleaning and changing the dressing every day.
My bodged surgery had a satisfactory result in the end, the lump never came back, although i do have a small rather neat hole just by my nipple to show for it, even now after nearly 9 years.
A rather neat hole that far too many of my friends have seen when i regale them of this bodge job
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 2:32, 17 replies)

Need I say
POIDH?
( Duke Of Belmsford has got 99 records, but Jay-Z ain't one, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 6:59, closed)

only girls have breasts
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 8:55, closed)

Chickens too!

(speedevil, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 10:00, closed)

sorry
no pictures, and anyway if I wanted to show the hole it would have be pretty close up so all you would see is a bit of flesh with a hole in it, not terribly sexeh
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 22:08, closed)

Waagh! Bleh! Gack!
Ingrown chest hairs are bad enough. This just gives me the boak. You've put me off breasts for life. Or at least the next ten minutes.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 10:35, closed)

Did you taste it?
/ac
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 10:40, closed)

No!
Bad Shambolic!
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 10:59, closed)

All seepage must be tasted.
Them's the rules.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 11:21, closed)

I don't need your rules.
Or your seepage.
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 11:42, closed)

[hannibal lecter slurping noise]

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 12:02, closed)

"I ate his liver,"
"with some fava beans and a nice palinoidal sinus."
(Falstaff's Spiritual Successor, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 13:11, closed)

what is the sky like
on your planet?

'retches'
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 22:09, closed)

just fucking ow.

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 17:21, closed)

yup :(
When I first saw this QOTW I thought it said boob jobs
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 22:12, closed)

I DEMAND BOOB PICTURES!

(Vigilante Man weeps because you're stupid., Wed 16 Mar 2011, 18:02, closed)

search the internet
Ive heard its full of them
(insomniac-surfer oh go on then, just this once, Wed 16 Mar 2011, 22:09, closed)

It's not just a rumour?

(Vigilante Man weeps because you're stupid., Thu 17 Mar 2011, 10:00, closed)