I was terribly bored and was wondering how to create a bit of cheer for myself
so I decided to have a nice mid-afternoon wanking session. This was back in the day when there was no free net porn and one had to make do with your own imagination. I had been edging for about an hour and decided to up the stimulus but with what?

I went to micturate and there next to the taps was the very thing to up the masturbation ante, Macleans Original Fresh Mint toothpaste. Applying the product liberally to my willy I decided to use the lubricant properties to finish the job off quickly and because the mint was causing a bit of heat. I had my eyes closed and I promptly reached orgasm. All was good. In fact, not a bad wank at all.

No, all was not so good. On staring down at my wilting penis and hand they were both covered in blood, white toothpaste turning the mess a lurid pink. It had not occurred to me that the menthol would cause the blood vessels to erupt in this manner but they did. It was quite a shock to see my penis in such a sorry state and I was disgusted.

I say disgusted. . .
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:32, 8 replies)

I'd say you've likely won this one seeing as there'll only be about four actual stories.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 14:37, closed)

Cheer up, it could have been worse...
www.b3ta.com/questions/unexpectednudity/post433833
( MisterPunch did it that way on, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 15:03, closed)

I live near calderstones, near Whalley
I say near, about 10 miles. Toothpaste and sand, how marvellous.
( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 16:09, closed)

Ah, that old lubricant: toothpaste...
...the one that is sufficiently abrasive to remove plaque from teeth in daily use.

Shrewd move, cock.
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Thu 11 Jul 2013, 16:10, closed)

Yes, I would much prefer to read about Vauxhall Corsas and scroungers.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 16:26, closed)

Then I shall write more stories about them, just for you.
There's no need to thank me.
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Thu 11 Jul 2013, 16:43, closed)

Close the polls.
Nothing is going to beat toothpaste wankdeath unless Club Chinless Self-loathing start posting self portraits. And not even you cunts deserve that.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 11 Jul 2013, 16:22, closed)

Nope sorry dude.
Still curly down there.

There are a couple more grey ones if that means anything.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Thu 11 Jul 2013, 20:47, closed)