The scrotum in my mouth
It was a typical thursday morning and I had a hangover. I felt a little sickly, so I went to the bathroom to puke it all out. A classic manoeuvre.

Unfortunately, the retching outlasted the contents of my stomach, and stringy bile began to spatter atop the undigested Guinness and chips in the toilet bowl. Then blood appeared. Then more blood. Blood upon blood upon blood.

Terror gripped me. I managed to stop retching long enough to look down my throat in the mirror. At first, all seemed normal, albeit a little blood-flecked. Then I saw my uvula (the little dangly thing at the back of your mouth).

It was horribly swollen and hanging very low. And it was resting right on that sick-inducing sweet-spot. No wonder I'd been retching so much. It was like having a finger permanently shoved down my throat. Panic set in and I couldn't breathe and I had my first (and only) full-blown anxiety attack.

A few hours later, when I'd calmed down, I went to hospital. The doctor couldn't explain it. "These things sometimes happen," he remarked, like a true professional. "Gargle some aspirin or something," he suggested helpfully.

My uvula is now hideously disfigured. Where once there was a smooth teardrop of flesh, there's now something that looks alarmingly like a ballsack, with one side hanging lower than the other. And it still dangles precariously close to that sick-inducing sweet-spot.

TL;DR: I puked so hard I grew a ballsack in my mouth.
( mrlogic is copying your beard, Mon 15 Jul 2013, 17:31, 5 replies)

I feel your pain
Suffered a similar fate a few years ago when on holiday in Fuertaventura and over did it with the piña coladas...alas no rain. Uvula swelled up like a golf ball and made me feel I was suffocating. A trip to the Spanish speaking emergency doc and a shot of adrenalin later and I was back in bed...the panic during the event was bowl watering.

Still love a big gay piña colada though.
( bane, Mon 15 Jul 2013, 19:29, closed)

I read your whole reply
In the voice of Bane. Which made things weird.
( mrlogic is copying your beard, Mon 15 Jul 2013, 20:33, closed)

I had to google it....you're right though .sounds funny in that voice.

My handle comes from being the bane of my mother.
( bane, Mon 15 Jul 2013, 21:04, closed)

Simular thing with me
Fell asleep once with my mouth wide open and my head back (Giggity), My uvula was so swollen that I was gagging every time I spoke. Apparently the best cure was to eat ice cream all day so it would swell back, Couldn't complain really. All is well now.
(Claude Speed was a Roman called Claudius Speedicus, Tue 16 Jul 2013, 12:40, closed)

Giggity
:)
( mrlogic is copying your beard, Wed 17 Jul 2013, 13:48, closed)