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This is a question Body Mods

This week we hand the honours over to DippyFi, who asks:

"Got your girlfriend stuck on your Prince Albert? Had an argument with your tattoo artist mid-tattoo? Piercing mysteriously dissolved the cartilege in your ear? Or worse: decided to pierce yourself while you were drunk? Go on, I wanna hear all the gory details!"

The closest I've got to body piercing was when a friend stuck a sodding gardening fork through my right hand. It wasn't a good look to be honest.

(, Thu 30 Nov 2006, 23:02)
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Accidents and incidents
As an addition to my previous post, some of my favourite accidents include:
1) On realising my new scrotum piercing was giving my jip and having to endure a 10 hour coach journey, I painted said nads with what I believed to be antiseptic solution. Shortly thereafter an extreme burning sensation alerted me to check the label of the bottle (I was by this time on board National Express's finest) and I realised I had in fact used a much stronger solution for sterilising jewellery, resulting in two black circular scabs forming. Cleared up the infection though. This is probably in a previous QOTW.
2) Got my cheeks pierced. Piercings almost healed when I headed with my friends to a bothy (Scottish crofters cottage, 1 mile from nearest road, 2 miles from nearest building) for a weekend of druggy madness... as you do. In the filth the healing reversed and my body rejected the jewellery, which involved two 8mm discs burrowing outwards through my cheeks. This left me with SuperDimples, so I had them redone and am still wearing them to this day.
3) Pierced my own left nipple and belly button - still wearing both. Took my about 45 mins in each case. My friend commented on the nipple piercing that it looked like I was in the "most pain he'd ever seen". I disagreed, personally. He's now a fireman so I don't think I still hold the record. Still, it takes a lot to get a needle through a bit of your body...
4) My missus has a seemingly magnetic attraction to new tatts/ piercings whenever she slaps / strokes / scratches / rubs me. If it's sore, she makes it worse. Not intentionally, as far as I know...
5) One person who I once let tattoo me (his work was shit and is now covered!) later spent two long stays in mental hospital. The first time he had a whole high street closed down for a Saturday's trading by pointing a gun from an upper-storey window. The second time he doused himself in petrol and threatened to light himself and throw himself off a block of flats, in full view of his wife and kids. And they still let him out to tattoo the unsuspecting.
6) Not me, but one person I know who works in the industry told me about a chavvy guy who got a tattoo which was supposed to read something like "May God give me the serenity to accept what I cannot change" and came out as "May God give me the serennity to except what I cannot change" (sic). Irony meters were duly sent off the scale. The shop where it happened compensated him to the tune of £2K, gave him a free cover-up and changed their policy to ensure that everyone who wanted script tattooing onto them had to sign off the correct spelling. You might have thought he'd have said something at the time though...

Eat my length; lick my girth!
(, Wed 6 Dec 2006, 13:18, Reply)

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