He ‘gunned’ the car…

A lot has been written this week regarding Dan Brown-eye, some positive, some negative. There’s no denying he is successful, but in my opinion that doesn’t necessarily equate to actually being.any.fucking.good.

I, (like most of the population it seems) have read The Da Vinci Code, Angel & Demons, and the Lost Symbol**, and there is one thing that irks me even more than the overall general crap writing style*, the over use of italics, the disdain that he obviously treats his readership with (I can’t remember a more heinous example of ‘All Americans are big thickies so let’s make it reeeeeaaally obvious for them’ stereotyping in recent history), or the fact that since his early success he’s obviously writing every line with the movie rights in mind…

I could go on* but way more eloquent descriptions than this have already been posted, and these are just some of the reasons why I wish Scaryduck had literally thrown Dan (the man) Brown out of the train window, instead of just one of his books.

And this is it… I take you back to the title of this post. Why, in the name of Socrates’ splintered shite-socket, can’t the fucking twat-buckler think of another…ANY OTHER, adjective to describe driving a car at high speed?

In fact, there you go Dan. There’s one to start you off. How about ‘He drove the car at high speed’? Perhaps there are some other references within the books, but all I recall of my Dan Brown-star reading experience is rolling my eyes and waiting for the inevitable as soon as I started reading a passage that involved any kind of motor vehicle…before it was ‘gunned’ somewhere.

It just boiled my piss. Rant over.



* Yes, I am aware of the irony. Thank you. I could have peppered ‘*’ all over this post.

**Lummee it’s shit. Really….REALLY shit. As ‘ways to spend your time’ go, it’s up there with ‘setting yourself on fire as a protest against the Euro.’
(Mr Twisty Cheeky The worst kept secret in B3ta..., Mon 9 Jan 2012, 15:25, 11 replies)

Speaking of 'writing style' ...
www.b3ta.com/board/10271435
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 15:52, closed)

Speaking of 'writing style'...
www.b3ta.com/questions/books2012/post1492736
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 16:02, closed)

Ha ha!...

I did mention that I was aware of the irony.
(Mr Twisty Cheeky The worst kept secret in B3ta..., Mon 9 Jan 2012, 16:12, closed)

So bad,
you read 3 of his books? Methinks you doth protest too much.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 15:53, closed)

I realise I might be making it worse for myself...

But I read the Da Vinci code first after a recommendation ...thought it was a bit shite...

I was then told by some friends and relatives that 'Angels & Demons is waaaaay better, you should read that as an 'apology' for the Da Vinci Code...so I did. And I thought it was shite...

I then got The Lost symbol myself without recommendation...thinking 'Shirley it can't be as bad as the others - after all the hype, it has to actually be an improvement...? hasn't it...?

oh very dear...:(

All I can say is that, the only thing I can cling to is that whilst reading them sneakily on Ebook at work, at least I was being paid for the experience...although that doesn't really make me feel better.
(Mr Twisty Cheeky The worst kept secret in B3ta..., Mon 9 Jan 2012, 16:08, closed)

"Beat me!" said the masochist.
"No," said Dan Brown, "but you can have a copy of my new book."
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 19:02, closed)

"Gunned" would be a verb

( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 16:02, closed)

It doesn't describe a car being driven fast either.
You can gun a car at 3mph.

He could have said 'He revved the balls off the car, dropped the clutch and sped off with a screech of spinning tyres', but we got all that when he said 'gunned'.
(username failed moderation, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 16:07, closed)

To be fair to Mr Brown, the quote above is quite out of context.
The full sentence is in fact, "He gunned the cardiovascular surgeon down where he stood".
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 16:22, closed)

Dan Brown writes drivel, my brother leant me two of his books, one was about a super computer, Digital Fortress, and one was about something else, I read them on my night shift and by the end of the week couldn't remember which was which.
They are just airport books, as in, the type of book you'd want to buy in an airport to throw in the intake of a passing 747.
(polar69, Mon 9 Jan 2012, 16:50, closed)

This lacks context.
The car involved was clearly a Honda Accord. I see no other explanation.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 10 Jan 2012, 11:32, closed)