It's an old book I found in a library
when I was up in New England. There was this quaint old university with a stone library building, nicely gothic looking. I went in and poked around, and found this ancient book all by itself in a case. No one else was around, so I opened the case and helped myself.

I was immediately fascinated- the author was an Arab, but the book was in English. (Well, parts of it were.) It had a lot of ancient history in it, as well as some very interesting descriptions of ancient marvels. I was so taken by this book that I decided to take it home. As no one else was around, I couldn't check it out, but decided that I would just borrow it for a couple of days.

That night I sat up reading late, and read chunks of it aloud to myself as I sounded out the syllables. Imagine my amazement when a strange doorway appeared in the room, one which led to a different place- a place where all the angles were wrong, where there were buildings made of cyclopean blocks with elaborate carvings on them of barrel-shaped creatures with star-shaped heads.

I have been there many times since, and have no intention of ever returning this book. It holds deep dark secrets, things that have been unknown for centuries.

͟ ̧̛͟ ͡ Y̵̷'҉AĮ̀'̧͘N̷G͜͝'̕͘͝ŃǴA̸̛H̴̵
̶̨ ̀ ͝ ̷ ̢Y̕O̵̡G̢-̀S̛O̡͢T̶̢͟H́́̀Ơ̧T̀H
͏ ̀ ̴͢͝ ̷H͟'̸̢͟E̴͠E̡͟͡-̸͏L̡'͢͝G͜͠É̵B
҉ ̧ ́ ͞҉ ̡́F̸'̛͟A͞Í͢ ̢̢̀T̨̡Ḩ̴̨R̢͠O̴͟D͢O͟G
̵ ̡̡ ͠Ų̷͞A҉͠ĄÁ̡H͡ ̛

Iä! Iä! Shub-Niggurath! The Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young! Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Wed 11 Jan 2012, 19:26, 8 replies)

That's amazing!
Last time I was in New England I had a sudden urge to dig a hole in a mountain and found a similar inscription on a block of solid gold.

I thought that someone might miss it if I nicked it, though, so I hid it.

I'm now living in Missouri with a few mates and my wives.
( The Disappointed Caravanner of the year, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 19:33, closed)

Linguistics
Looks like a Welsh dictionary to me, is the author Taffy Al-Sheik?
(Classic Ray, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 22:52, closed)

There are things that men were not meant to know
such as Welsh.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 4:09, closed)

Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!
I once saw this written in the dirt on the back of a semi-trailer (Seppo usage for TRL) round the back of the Freemans parcel depot.

Word perfect as well, and it started 12 feet off the floor
(all my scars face forward possesses 2.5% of a hyperalloy combat chassis, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 23:15, closed)

Now THAT'S impressive.
I wonder if they stood on a shoggoth?
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 12 Jan 2012, 0:38, closed)

You probably won't get a late fine.
The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of libraries to correlate all their contents.
(apeloverage committed the vile act of onanism on, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 23:25, closed)

This is all well and good,
but how will it help me find the corpse I re-animated, last night?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 11 Jan 2012, 23:58, closed)

Ask Zalgo for help.

( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 12 Jan 2012, 2:44, closed)