Breakin' The Law'I'd taken some mushrooms in a pub,' writes Allen Smithee, 'and things had got a bit odd. People turning into goblins, barstools into toadstools etc. I wandered off from my friends and found myself in a carpark. I noticed a huge liquorice allsort driving towards me and Bertie Basset got out. I kinda realised that Bertie was a policeman and my brain went into paranoid fast forward. I decided that I must be being arrested and said, "I'll just get in the back of your car, Officer" Bertie looked at me with disgust, "Not bleeding likely sunshine. Just piss off home ok?"'
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rob, Wed 7 Jan 2004, 20:34)
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It's amazing how a lot of these stories are alcohol-fueled....and mine is no exception.
One night after being on the piss, I stumbled back to Liverpool Street Satation.
In bad need of a post-ale and curry camel's hump, I wandered into the sub-terranean khazi and with the turtle's head imminent, made for the nearest sit-downs.
Having relieved myself, I went to wash my hands only to be confronted by the female attendant. Unbeknown to me I'd gone into the Ladies' section so this harridan started to accuse me of being some sort of sick knicker-sniffing perv!
An exchange of unpleasantries (in the words of Rowley Birkin QC, I was very drunk at the time...) ended with the summoning of the British Transport Police and a chat in their little office behind platform 10.....
You will be pleased to know that I was let off with a caution and I'm not on any offenders' register!
(, Thu 8 Jan 2004, 10:56, Reply)
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